Made By Bees

recap: project runway all-stars, episode 03

2012-01-27T10:36:00.000+08:00

Why is this recap so late?!? It is because I'm a terrible person? Yes. Also it is very hot and my brain has melted and it's hard to do stuff. But now it's time to MAKE IT WORK!

This week was a pretty cool challenge: make a "flamboyant cocktail dress" for Miss Piggy. I was really excited about this challenge, until I saw that they were working with human models. What the fuck?!? Why not make Miss Piggy-sized dresses? That would have been awesome! Stupid Project Runway.

Anyway, Anthony is very excited, because he is a Muppet. Michael overdoes the gushing a bit and calls her "fashion's dream client," which is just weird. Mila has mixed feelings about Miss Piggy and decides to make a severe black dress, just for a change. Giordana is making a floaty, feminine pink dress. "Pink is a happy colour," she deadpans to the camera in her most Eastern European style. She chooses the saddest pink imaginable.

Speaking of pink, Mondo and Kara both want the elbow-length pink gloves from the accessory wall. Kara is the WORST. Leave Mondo alone, Kara! "Do you think I can sex up Miss Piggy?" Kara muses. Do you even know who Miss Piggy IS, Kara? I hate you.

Of course, Austin is very excited about the challenge. He reveals that Miss Piggy is a huge inspiration to him, which suddenly puts his persona in a whole new light. It all makes so much sense now.

Mondo is designing a 60s-style frock, which he claims is inspired by Miss Piggy's childhood (since she would have grown up in the 60s?). This is a bit of a stretch. Has everything he's ever made been inspired by Miss Piggy's childhood?

Giordana's dress looks like a nightie. She says that it's important to be comfortable. YOU ARE DRESSING A PUPPET.

The accessories battle shifts grounds. Now Austin has claimed the accessories that Kara was planning to use. She demands them back, despite the fact that a) she and Mondo both wanted them and b) I don't see her name on them. I am hoping that Mondo and Austin will team up and smack her silly, but she just ends up taking everything. Ugh!

Kenley has made a 50's style princess seam dress with a big skirt. Surprise! Kenley's model says, "That is just so..." "Adorable?" Kenley suggests. Kenley tells the camera that she thinks she will probably win.

Miss Piggy is there for the judging, which is fun. I think one of the things making this season a bit crap is the new judges. They are not mean enough! I never thought I'd miss Nina and Michael, but they brought some welcome acidity to the judging. Not to mention Sociopath Heidi. Come back!

Austin's dress is TERRIBLE. Austin, what were you thinking? This was an amazing chance to do a crazy huge skirt. Didn't you hear the word flamboyant?!? But no, he has made a hot pink and grey tight number with huge bows on the hips and little pink boob cups.

Michael's dress is pretty boring and not very flamboyant. It's nice I guess? Nothing about it screams Miss Piggy, though. It has big loops on the bodice, but it's a very understated fabric.

Kenley has made her usual dress and then piled a ton of tulle on top of her model. The judges are inexplicably thrilled, although they do notice that the bodice of the dress is kind of crappy-looking. No problems with the massive tulle headdress, though! That looks great!

Rami has made a nutty polka-dot number that looks ridiculous on the model, but I can see it looking fun on Miss Piggy. This is why they should have been allowed to dress the puppet! Grr!

Mila has made a gorgeous, understated, Mod dress in black and white. This is completely inappropriate for the challenge. Mila, you are an idiot! If you'd made the same dress in, say, pink and yellow, you would have won. Bah.

Kara's dress is AWFUL, not surprisingly. It's a wiggle dress with a cutout between/under the boobs and hot pink piping. She has given her model sunglasses (for a cocktail party?) and an awful hairdo. GO AWAY, KARA, I HATE YOU.

Mondo has completely LOST HIS MIND and made a dress that looks more like a Mad Men costume than a "60's inspired" piece. His model has a housewifey bubble hairdo and his fabric is shiny. Get your shit together, Mondo!

Michael wins, although they never show us Miss Piggy in a modified version of the dress. I feel cheated! Kenley and Rami are the other two in the top three, so you can imagine how bad the rest were. The bottom three are Austin, Mila and Giordana, and Giordana goes home.

Terrible work everybody! Keep it up!

the boook was better episode 9: flubber

2012-01-24T19:39:00.000+08:00

Oh my LORD this is a crazy book. I am pretty sure this is a funny episode although I have not had the stomach to go back and listen to any of the episodes we have recorded because I do not enjoy WRITHING WITH SHAME. I am a bit worried I come off as racist at one point but hopefully you can tell I am joking? Now that is a good motivation to listen.

stuff to read, stuff to do

2012-01-20T14:55:00.000+08:00

Here is some stuff for you to look at.

1. The amazing Sara Bauer (@yellowcardigan on Twitter, owner of the world's only comic-making cat Paisley) mdae her own spice rack and then put up a tutorial because I asked her to and she is sweet. This is exactly what I need in my new, smaller kitchen: easily accessible, taking up no counter or cupboard space.

2. This Tumblr is fantastic: Citation Needed, a collection of the worst Wikipedia writing. If you need convincing, read some of my favourites.

3. Please watch this:

"YOU OK YOU OK YOU OK." This is my favourite video of all time maybe? I have it bookmarked so I can watch it when things go wrong in my life. Via Videogum.

4. Yelping with Cormac is a collection of Yelp reviews "written by" Cormac McCarthy. This is hilarious and beautiful.

5. I want to make this, how is it even possible? Radmegan posted a great tutorial but I am pretty sure it is mostly magic. Via Craftzine.

6. This Raindrop music maker is so soothing and happy-making. Play with it for a while.

recap: project runway all-stars, episode 2

2012-01-18T16:08:00.000+08:00

It happened again! Project Runway: All Stars continues, despite the gaping void left by Tim Gunn's absence. Luckily the fact that these are hand-picked all-stars doesn't stop them from making terrible, terrible clothes that I can make fun of.

This episode is themed A Night At the Opera, although inexplicably nobody makes a Marx Brothers reference. The designers are told to make "showstopping ballgowns" and are told that this is the time to make couture. They have one day.

Everyone's eyes are on Austin, as he makes amazing ballgowns (in fact that is pretty much all he makes). As Kara puts it, "Evening wear I can do, but it's not my PAPOO moment. It is Austin's PAPOO moment." WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT KARA. You can't just go making up words and using them like we know what you're talking about! Suddenly I hope Kara stays on the show for a long time, and gets a lot of screen time.

Michael has a minor meltdown when April chooses red, but then grabs black jersey. As it turns out April is ombre dying her fabric with black dye, going for a Tim Burton-esque, goth-lite, I'm-totally-wearing-this-to-prom-and-you-can't-stop-me-mom-and-I-am-SO-a-Wiccan vibe. Kara has chosen an unbelievably ugly FLORAL fabric. "I constantly feel like I'm under pressure," she confides to the camera, but neglects to point out that she's not here to make friends and that she'll have to bring her A-game.

Kara continues to morph into My Favourite Contestant when she worries that her (terrible, ugly) dress just isn't show-stopping enough compared to Austin's gown. "With this design, I don't feel like I'm, like, going... off the cahoonies!" Kara, you are DEFINITELY going off the cahoonies.

Jerrell continues to develop his Overly Confident Villain persona (possibly accidentally, simply by being completely self-absorbed). "Job well done Team Me!" he exclaims over his completely awful dress.

Let's get on that runway for out PAPOO moment!

I was worried that the designers-- sorry, "All-Stars" would make classy, beautiful gowns and this would be a really boring episode. Luckily for me, this was not to be. The runway was a MESS.

Kenley has made a godawful pink mess of a dress. It is layer over layer of fairy floss and polka dots, completely unsuited to the challenge and very unflattering. In fact, unflattering seems to be the theme of this runway. WHERE ARE THE WAISTS? Is this a new thing, dresses with no waists that make even models look 3-4 months gone?

Sweet P (I always think of her as Sweet Potato) has made a completely confusing dress: sloppily sewn orange bodice with a big floral skirt and no waist. My drawing might make it look like it has an empire waist, but no, it just starts poufing out from there.

Sadly my beloved Mondo has lost the lot a little and given us a cross between bride, 60s stewardess and 70s Liz Taylor. Actually that sounds kind of awesome but this dress is awful. White satin with a silver-blue floral pattern and a train? BOOOOOOO.

Jerrell's dress is amazingly ugly. It's a khaki taffeta skirt and feathery/hairy bodice with the same waistless design as half the other designers. He is thrilled. "Let's just say that I'm still reaching around and patting myself on the back for a job well done!" Oh yeah, giving yourself the old reach-around.

Kara's dress is the same silhouette YET AGAIN but this time in an ugly floral print with a black sash. A Night at the Opera, ladies and gentlemen.

Austin has the clear winner, a gorgeous gold lamé and black tulle 30s-inspired backless number. SO beautiful, perfect styling.

April's black-dyed red dress is so, so sad. Her model looks like a cosplayer.

Michael makes an impeccable black draped gown, AS ALWAYS. Yawn. OK, it has some nice feathery stuff around the neck, actually now that I'm remembering it it's totally stunning, but PLEASE LET AUSTIN WIN.

There is some justice in this world because Austin wins. The bottom three are April, Sweet P and Kara... and Sweet P goes home. Not a big surprise there.

Now please enjoy these pictures of Austin Scarlett!

"There's a fan behind me? Well of course there is, I'M AUSTIN SCARLETT!"

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a sewing machine must be in want of thirty yards of tulle"

"I am prettier than you."

the boook was better episode 8: crossroads

2012-01-10T21:19:00.000+08:00

After taking December off, and then missing our return date because I was disgustingly sick, my podcast (with Luke Milton) is BACK with a blistering look at the novelisation of the 2002 Britney Spears movie Crossroads! Learn about love, friendship and other totally girly stuff over at The Book Was Better.

recap: project runway all-stars, episode 01

2012-01-08T10:57:00.001+08:00

When I found out that the next season of Project Runway was going to be a) an all-stars season (no fresh talent) and b) would not feature my beloved Tim Gunn, I was pretty disappointed. But I strapped on my beaded wrist-spats and trimmed my asymmetrical hemline, and watched the first episode. And once I realised that most of the all-stars had been chosen not so much for their talent as for their personalities, I knew there would be plenty to keep me watching.

(Note: please excuse the drawings. I have an iPad and I did these with my finger in front of the television. That is how it's going to be from now on.)

First of all, Mondo is back. YES! Season 8 was actually my first season of PR (although I went back and watched most of the others) and I adored Mondo's work and thought he was robbed. If Mondo doesn't win this season I will be calling for a Parliamentary inquiry.

I also really like Anthony, who is just very cute and fun to watch, and Austin Scarlett, who I admire for living his life as a character rather than a person. He is currently channeling Vincent Price with his tiny moustache and mad staring eyes. I'm not a big fan of Austin's designs but I would watch a show where he just got dressed in the morning.

But don't worry, there are plenty of villains too! As soon as I heard her nasal, braying voice I knew that the awful Kenley was back. Speaking of awful voices, I didn't see Kara Janx's season so I don't know what she's like as a designer, but that South African accent really is like nails on a blackboard, isn't it? (I have an Australian accent, the world's second most awful accent, so I can's afford to make fun.) And for some reason, Elisa Jiminez has been included in this all-star line-up. If you don't remember her, it's because she appeared in the fourth season of PR and was eliminated in episode 6, only lasting that long because the PR judges always like to rid of the boring designers before the awful, nutty ones. She is best remembered for using spit instead of chalk to mark her garments and calling it a 'blessing mark.'

All-stars!

The new host Angela is a model I guess? What would I know. She doesn't seem as sociopathic as Heidi, so that's boring. The new judges are Isaac Mizrahi and Georgina Chapman. So far they are boring. And the new mentor is Joanna Coles, an editor with Marie Claire. You can never replace Tim Gunn! Leave me alone! You're not my real mum! (buries head in pillows)

The designers are shown to their apartment and already Elisa is showing herself to be a class act by 'marking' her bed by wiping her lipsticked mouth on it. Charming. The designers are shown a video of Valentino reading out a message and pimping his website, which makes them all cry.

The designers each show a piece of their current work to the judges, who are boringly polite about it all. Then it's off to the first challenge! Of course, it's an Unconventional challenge, this time to make a garment inspired by their runway garment from things found in a 99c store. It's the usual routine of run around madly, freak out that someone else got the same stuff as you, burn a hole in your plastic dress with a glue gun. Yawn. Jerell seems to be trying to amp up his personality, perhaps realising the secret to staying on reality television. He has a lot of new catchphrases such as "Me no likey!" Good luck with that one.

And it's runway time! Elisa has made a predictably terrible outfit consisting of booty shorts, a bustier and long, pointless semi-transparent sleeves with stupid shit written on them. Just what every woman needs!

She is thrilled. "This time it's even a little bit more special, because I really swore that I would make high art," she enthuses.

Kenley has put a shower puff on her model's head.

Austin has used blue plastic to make a dress that puffs out at the model's hips and shoulders and leaves her stomach bare. She looks like a Mormon stripper.

Rami wins with a very structured garment made out of umbrellas, which is kind of cheating because they are pretty much made of fabric. Mondo comes second (ROBBED) with an awesome dress made of tyres or something. Sweet P, who made a sad dress out of towels, is up for elimination with Elisa. Elisa tries to explain her fluttery, fugly sleeves: "I do a lot with sacred geometry." Oh, OK then! It seems that this season's judges might be going for design and sewing skills over kookiness, because she is out. May the Goddess bless your hotpants!

street style: maria

2011-12-20T12:20:00.002+08:00

If you're wondering why this young lady is wearing a jacket and tights in summer, it's because I took these photos a shamefully long time ago (October?) and I'm very sorry. This is the adorable Maria, who insisted on hiding her face. She was at Cafe Myriade, an awesome board game cafe in Northbridge, Perth. I was very taken with her colour combination of bright pink tights, orange quilted jacket, pink and yellow shorts and bright blue Real Monsters t-shirt. My favourite style note at the moment is bright colours, preferably a little bit clashing, and she made my eyes happy.

Oh, and did I mention Yo Gabba Gabba sneakers?!? What an awesome lady!

i'm back!

2011-11-24T14:56:00.000+08:00

Looking at the date of my last post I see that I have been neglecting this blog for over two weeks! I am so sorry. I have been in HELL, also known as trying to move house in two weeks. I looked on Google image search for pictures to use for this post and tried 'despair,' 'pain' and 'tearing out hair,' but it was all pretty depressing so I decided to use pictures of the famousest cat on the Internet, Maru. For the last few weeks I have been as obsessed with boxes as Maru, so it seemed fitting.

The process was really overwhelming. I am a bit of a collector/packrat/hoarder, and in the end we gave away nearly a bookcase's worth of books to the Save the Children book sale, 2 carloads of various things to the op shop, a few more boxes to family and friends, and also rented a skip bin for the rubbish that had managed to accumulate in the house. Moving is good for making you brutal; when you look at something and think, can I be bothered packing, moving and unpacking this? you find it a lot easier to get rid of it.

Today I read a great comic about moving and things and attachment which really spoke to me. Stuff No-one Told Me is a really great comic by Alex Noriega (whose girlfriend Iris Yan has her own, equally awesome comic, Pigs in Maputo).

I want to try to hold on to this feeling and not keep blindly accumulating things I don't need.

the book was better podcast: episode 6!

2011-11-08T10:48:00.000+08:00

What could be better than a podcast about the book of the movie? How about a podcast about the book of the movie of the TV cartoon of the comic?! The story of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has gone through so many permutations that it has emerged purified, stripped down to its very essence. Join me and Luke Milton as we discuss the finer points of pizza distribution, realistic human disguises and sports equipment fetishes. Special thanks to Radical Dude Campbell Whyte, owner of this fine piece of cinematic and literary history!

nail inspiration

2011-11-08T09:10:00.000+08:00

I've seen some amazing nails lately, and some of them even look do-able for a shaky-handed doofus like myself!

Emily Denise at Very Emily regularly posts mind-blowing nail photos, but this is a style that looks fantastic but would be pretty easy (albeit time-consuming) to achieve. There's a tutorial at Unicorn Parade-- a good trashy TV watching project!

Here's another great look from Emily Denise: glitter over dark polish, but done in a really great way.

I am a big fan of Bronny's blog Fat Aus, and I've been lurking and reading her archives. I love these nails! There's a tutorial at The Dainty Squid. I'm really into triangles right now, and I really love the way this looks!

And back to the impossible: Emily Denise's butterfly nails. So beautiful!

commonwealth festival

2011-11-07T15:59:00.000+08:00

Two weeks ago the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting (CHOGM) was held in Perth. (I never got sick of hearing that acronym. Choggem! Choggem! Choggem!) Perth hoisted up its stockings and tarted itself up for the international visitors, including a Commonwealth Festival which took place in the Cultural Centre. I was drawn there by the international food stalls (OMG best takoyaki ever!) but there was a lot of nice stuff going on, and I took some pretty photos.

I bought the takoyaki at a stand with these beautiful vintage painted paddles and a great handpainted sign:

Context is everything: this cabbage moth is so pretty in the middle of the city and so evil in my vegetable garden.

I loved the suitcase plantings, especially the ones paired with paintings.

Kittey Malarvie, 'Sturt Creek,' 2011

Louise Malarvie, 'Bush Orange,' 2011.

Kangaroo paws.

This is a native plant called the Bacon & Egg plant!

One of the most striking features was this Ford Falcon painted by Charles (Jdudin) Riley, a Nyoongar artist. Every inch was decorated, inside and out, even the engine!

He also painted these beautiful ukuleles.

These beautiful hand puppets were at the UthandoProject stall.

antm s17 e08

2011-11-04T20:02:00.000+08:00

Time to stuff some jellybeans in your ears, Top Model is getting MUSICAL!

To the list of things Top Model has ruined (fashion, photography, faith in humanity) you can now add Madison. She has been forced (presumably by Tyra, who is off-camera holding a knife to her dog's throat) to record a message for the women in the house. Leave Madison alone!

If you have a bad feeling about this, it's about to become justified. Mr Jay comes to the house and tells the models they are "going viral", ie making a music video. The people who make ANTM seem to think that "going viral" and "posting a clip on YouTube" are the same thing. They also have a somewhat skewed idea of the results of "going viral"; as Mr Jay chirps, "Thing of how going viral worked for Rebecca Black and Justin Beiber. It made them megastars!" Yes, when I think of respected musical artists who will have a long and successful career, I think of Rebecca Black.

The models have 20 minutes to write lyrics to pre-recorded tracks, which is probably how most hits are made. (Just kidding! Singers don't write lyrics.) The winner will have her Loved One flown in, which makes me think of Evelyn Waugh. A record executive is there to help them with their songs. He crouches behind a chaise-longue and tells Alexandra to find the emotion in her song.

Alexandra comes up with "I'm never going to stop, I make my own clock, now watch me go go go." She then modestly admits, "I kind of learned something: that some great masterpieces can be made in 20 minutes." So true!

Lisa has recorded songs before. The executive says her song is "so awesome." What the fuuuuuck, is Lisa going to win this one too? I begin to sob quietly.

Allison isn't doing great; as Lisa puts it, "It's just like freakishly freaking her out." She writes a heartfelt song about her father's death, which makes making fun of her rather awkward.

Lisa wins the challenge. God damn it.

Now it's time to record the song, and Mr Jay has a surprise for the girls. "Tyra's come up with a really fun hook!" Now the girls have to work in the words POT LEDOM into their songs, and also explain that this is Top Model backwards so that the song can be enjoyed by the mentally impaired. (To be fair this is their key demographic.) This is particularly awesome for Allison, who now gets to trivialise her father's death! And then of course they'll be making a music video, or as Mr Jay infuriatingly insists on calling it, "a viral video."

Most of them sound pretty awful, but don't worry, they'll be autotuning and adding "background" singers till you can barely hear it. Laura and Shannon are particularly bad singers. Alexandra is taking her new career Very Seriously and wears sunglasses in the studio.

Still modest and down-to-earth, she confides that "I feel like I could be a recording artist after I learn a few things." I'm sure there's a correspondence course you can take.

Lisa raps her song. Of course. "I'm the queen of all trades," she announces, as though that is a phrase.

As the winner, she gets a visit back at the house from her Loved One. She tells the camera how different they are. "I'm the loud, crazy, insane, artistic one, and he's the quiet, organised one." Wow, you must make him feel great about himself!

But that's enough of that, because it's time to go totally viral up in this bitch! The video will be directed by a rapper called Game, who Mr Jay describes as "Grammy-nominated." That is the saddest accomplishment. As soon as she sees him Angelea loses her shit and starts screaming. Game looks terrified.

He does give excellent direction, however. "Booty back, chest out!" he barks at Dominique. Even better is his advice to Alexandria, whose video features her getting out of, then dancing next to, a classic car. He tells her to pretend the car is a short guy that she really loves. When she fails to meet his expectations, he tells her he doesn't believe the car is her husband. I agree. Also, Alexandria is completely terrible and dances like a hella white girl.

Shannon's song is about how much she loves her husband. Her video has her singing while a bunch of white sheets flutter around. It is the most boring thing ever until I notice the lyrics "My love goes out of bounds." Are we talking about... anal?

They are half way through the videos but Mr Jay has an announcement! "I thought it would add a lot more excitement to your videos if Tyra was in them!" he exclaims. Oh, did you, Mr Jay? You thought that? It was all your idea? Suuuuuure.

But it's not just Tyra. She's brought along viral video star Keenan, and two huge-ass hair extensions. Tyra and Keenan will be the models' "posse" and lip-synch in cutaways. I bet Allison is really glad she decided to write a song about her dead father now!

It's Lisa's turn. "I'd better nail this one out of the park," she says, blithely unaware that everything she says is NONSENSE. She flails around and everyone thinks it is wonderful. Her song is called I Be Like Whoa, because of course it is.

Angelea wrote an aggressive song about how she's been kicked or something. She grabs onto a wooden fence and flops around but she has the dead eyes.

For Allison's shoot, they have her clutching a toy rabbit and sitting on a swing in a little-girl dress. Can you say 'infantilisation'? They have sped up her song so it's less of a dirge and more of a romp.

Some divine force takes pity on me and Lisa does NOT win (it's Allison). Angelea and Alexandria are the bottom two and Alexandria finally goes home. That's okay, she'll just have more time to learn those few things that will allow her to be a recording artist!

You guys, I didn't think this show could get worse and it DID.

project runway season 9 episode 14: finale!

2011-11-02T19:31:00.000+08:00

Oh my lord, the finale of Project Runway Season 9 was last week and I'm only just getting around to this. I am a terrible person! But not as terrible as everyone involved in Project Runway (except St Tim Gunn). Let's recap this shit!

Last week the designers showed three pieces to the judges, and the three top designers got through... and also Anya. Hey, you all know I am on Team Anya, but two of those pieces were painfully bad. Still, I think the judges must have learned from last season's fiasco (I still love you, Mondo!) because they seem determined to shoehorn the phenomenally popular Anya into the finale.

So much so that another unprecedented move is pulled out: the designers get to go to Mood with $500! Seriously?!? These bitches had 5 weeks and nine grand, what is this shit?!? But they are clearly desperate for Anya to pull some magic out of her shapely ass, so off to Mood they go. Anya goes nuts buying random fabrics. This means she is back to her last-minute, by-the-seat-of-her-pants style and I begin to wonder if she might not show a decent collection after all.

Josh takes this opportunity to grab some fluorescent green fabric, because he's Josh. He makes one of the most bizarre and ugly pieces I have ever seen from him: shorts which look like they were made for a goth cyclist.

I was worried that Tim had helped him edit all the Crazy out, so it's a relief to see him getting a chance to de-edit. Josh has old pieces to finish but starts making lots of new pieces, and then he cries. Anya comforts him. Anya, stop wasting time and make some damn clothes!

Then Viktor says "Oh my Lord of the Rings." I have to rewind it to make sure he actually said that. Viktor, you tiny nutball, maybe I am going to miss you. "You've got to grab hold of the handle now, you've got to start... the motorcycle! You cannot let go because it will fall down." Viktor is on fire tonight!

Anya, on the other hand, is done. She tells Tim she has come to terms with the fact that she doesn't have a strong collection and she will not win. She seems calm and happy. (She has also won Fan Favourite, so she does have that money too.)

Tim looks at Josh's collection and is visibly shaken. He tells Josh that his collection as a whole has "a very different vibe" from the three pieces he showed the judges. When Josh asks what that vibe was, Tim answers, "...Sophisticated." OUCH!

But there's no time for looking back! It's time to get to Bryant Park for the FINALE!!!

Backstage is predictable chaos. Kimberley loses her kit and loses her shit. Anya lends her stuff even though she is busy too. Oh Anya! You deserved to win the Fan Favourite award, even though your collection is a bit shit and there's no way you can win.

Kim's collection is first. It's urban, sophisticated, but fun. I actually like a lot of the pieces, although it's not super-exciting.

That's okay, because Josh is next. What have you got for us, Josh?

Oh my Lord of the Rings. Those bondage cycle shorts look even more insane on the model than on the rack! A couple of things look wearable, but overall the collection is completely nutty (and not in a good way). Plastic and neoprene? Even if someone got to the changeroom with those pieces, they'd be squirming out of them as soon as they put them on and instantly started to sweat.

Viktor's collection is flashy, with lots of his own photographic print and transparent black fabric. The first look is amazing, though. I want a top with those boxy sleeves!

Anya's collection is... fine. I was really worried that it would be an embarassing flop, but she managed to pull together a bunch of floaty dresses in her signature style. There is one pair of pants, no jacket, and nothing that would be appropriate anywhere but on holiday on a tropical island. Still, it's all very pretty and although she can't win, she made a good show of it.

Time for judging!

The judges seem underwhelmed with Kimberley's stuff. It's pretty clear she isn't going to win.

Now they are facing Josh and I can't wait for them to tear him apart! What are they going to say about those shorts?!?

Heidi... likes them?

And she likes the awful vintage print he used throughout his show?

Even Nina says that while she didn't like the shorts on the runway, she likes them photographed! She says Josh is 'most improved', which is a great backhanded compliment, but I am starting to get uncomfortable. My husband tells me that if Josh wins, this show is not allowed in our house. But Josh couldn't possibly win! Could he?!?

Surprisingly, they are quite critical of Viktor's collection. I was almost sure he was going to win, but although they love the prints they aren't keen on the sheer black looks. Wait a minute... if they aren't keen on Kimberley or Viktor, and Anya obviously isn't going to win...

Onto Anya. They liked the show, but they point out that the one neckline is repeated in almost every piece (and is unwearable for any woman who wears a bra), there is much less construction in her looks, very little range, etc. All valid.

Now the judges discuss the options. They agree that Kimberley needs more time to develop. Viktor had some misses. Anya performs well under pressure and has good taste, but her collection was too one-note. Josh has lots of ideas-- maybe too many ideas. But he had the best styling (what?) and is gutsy and doesn't play it safe. Oh my Lord of the Rings, I am starting to realise that they are going to give it to Josh. My face looks like this:

The designers come back to the runway. Kimberley is the first out, and takes it extremely well. Very gracious! Then Viktor is out, and he is good about it too. YOU GUYS IT IS DOWN TO ANYA AND JOSH WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK

ANYA WINS

MY FACE LOOKS LIKE THIS:

"It's a little bit of a shock value," Josh comments, speaking for all of us (at least, all of us who use phrases without understanding what they mean). "I wouldn't deny that her collection was very beautiful. [Pause] Not sewn extremely well, but..."

Josh, you are a bitch, but you're kind of right.

Anya is floored, as well she might be. Who knew you could slap together some floaty dresses in a day and win Project Runway? I am relieved that Josh didn't win but I'm kind of horrified that Anya won. I know it's silly to be shocked that a reality TV program would stoop to fixing the win for a crown favourite, but PR has always seemed a bit different...

Ah well. I'm buying the hell out of the Anya bags and Anya jewellery that'll be coming out in a few months. (I think I'll leave the Anya dress, though. If I wore a plunging neckline I'd be arrested.)

Whew!

street style: evie

2011-10-31T13:37:00.000+08:00

Evie caught my eye with her adorable bright pink dress, awesome white tights/white shoes combination, cardigan (surely vintage?) and overall cuteness. She was very sweet and emailed me later to say she'd looked up my blog and realised she had read my comics before! It makes me feel great to know that my comics are out there being read by people I've never met. Thanks Evie!

antm s17 e07

2011-10-28T14:05:00.000+08:00

Oh my lord, there is so much to talk about! Very little of it to do with modelling! Let's get this bath-party started!

Shannon (whose brand is trustworthy/pure/sanctimonious) is really giving me the shits this week. She complains that the judges "want me to be more raunchy... That's not part of my brand and who I am." Personal conviction is one thing, but your brand is really important! 'Thou shalt stay true to thine own brand, and market thyself accordingly' (Mark 4:12).

Now that Bianca has lost her best friend Bre, she is feeling isolated. Alexandria is pissing her off by being a loud-mouthed, arrogant and thoughtless person, which is deliciously ironic. Bianca complains that she liked Alexandria during her cycle: "I genuinely thought maybe she was a little misunderstood." You mean it's not fun to be around someone who is constantly rude while smugly preening herself on how "real" and "genuine" she is? What a shock!

But now it's time for their challenge, and to further their adventures as meaningless "celebrities", they are going to "design" their own fragrance (ie spend five minutes sniffing bottles). At first I though this wouldn't be amusing - how can a fragrance translate on screen? - but luckily the models have been given plenty of chances to make fools of themselves. They all have to choose names for their fragrance; Lisa chooses 'Neon' (of course) and Shannon likes 'Smitten.' "I love the name Smitten! Like pure, angelic... That's like totally what I hope t-- what I am!" Um... I don't think that word means what you think it means. Also, anyone who changes "what I hope to be" to "what I am" needs a little of that humility Jesus was so keen on.

Angelea calls her fragrance 'Angelea.' Hey, at least she doesn't try to hide it.

Allison chooses 'Honey Blood,' because she's like totally into blood because she's so WEIRD! You guys! She's so creative and different to everyone else! Except every teenager ever!

Alexandria calls her fragrance 'Diamondatrix.' She says this very proudly, as though it is a clever wordplay, instead of a hastily-chosen team name at a drag queen quiz night.

Now it's time to sell this shit like a hooker on a street corner! The models will be given a range of products with their scent and a bath full of water, and will try to convince fans of the show that theirs is the best. The public will be voting on the winner. Bianca is very grumpy about this whole bath idea, which she thinks is undignified. This strikes me as an odd complaint from someone who wants to be a professional model.

They seem to be doing their own styling for the event, and Lisa puts on the biggest false eyelashes I have ever seen.

Seriously, she can barely open her eyes. She looks like she put pheremones on her eyelids and fuzzy black caterpillars are mating on them.

The models have to interact with the public, which is easier for some than others. When asked about the name of her fragrance, Honey Blood, Allison explains, "It represents, like, whimsical, mysterious, soft... like a safe place to go." Ugh, I just knew she was the type of person to use the word 'whimsical.'

Bianca stands next to her bathtub, wearing a dress, and refuses to get in. She points out that she has never seen Beyonce in a bathtub. I decide to start using this argument at work. "I've never seen Beyonce update a spreadsheet!"

Of course, Lisa is in her element: lots of people, minimal clothing, and the opportunity to writhe and scream. She pretty much bears out Bianca's 'undignified' argument.

Of course, Lisa wins the challenge. What is wrong with people?!? I am starting to worry that she will win the cycle! Of course, that means we will probably never see her again. I bet her fragrance smells like chlorine and hangovers.

And now it is announced: the winner of the cycle will have her fragrance produced and sold! Ugh. (Unless it is Laura's, which I bet is great.)

OK, enough of this nonsense: let's get modelling! After that silly business I am ready for some high-fashion, high concept fashion photography. It's a night shoot, and the models are asked to embody... reality TV stars. Specifically, Snooki from Jersey Shore and NeNe (from a Real Housewives show). On a motorcycle. Once again, classy move, ANTM!

Bianca has a brainwave and orders a jar of pickles, as these are apparently Snooki's favourite food. (She is shocked that some of the others haven't seen these shows, as if watching reality TV is a prerequisite for modelling on par with reading Italian Vogue.) The others ask if they can have one but she keeps 'em to herself. This is a competition, after all! She brings a pickle on set and starts acting sexy. The results are predictable.

After Mr Jay and the photographer repeatedly tell her she looks like she's sucking it off, Mr Jay has to forcibly remove it and throw it away.

Alexandria is trying to channel NeNe, but basically falls back on a mid-90s black stereotype and just waggles her finger at the camera and raises her eyebrow.

Shannon is somewhat fazed by the assignment, as she knows that Snooki is a Godless Whore. "Maybe I'll just be like a tamed-down Snooki!" she says brightly, which suggests to me that she has never watched ANTM. When Mr Jay tries to get her to do something interesting, she complains, "What does he want me to do, be daring like Lisa and jump off a building or something?" which makes me wonder if Mr Jay is constantly trying to get Lisa to jump off a building. If so, I wish him the best of luck.

Dominique poses by squishing down the motorcycle driver's head, making her photo look like she is headed for an imminent collision.

OK, shoot's over. Back at the house Bianca is still going on about the bathtub, pointing out that she has not seen Kanye West or Courtney Love in a bathtub or something. Give it a rest, Bianca! It's time for panel!

The guest judge for this panel is... Kathy Griffith?!? What? I guess she's a reality TV star? If you've ever wondered how much input the guest judges are allowed to have on the choices, here's your answer. The photos are boring, but Lisa's is actually... toned-down? Classy? Oh shit. She wins top photo and her domination looks truly possible. Argh!

But the drama's not over, because it's a DOUBLE ELIMINATION! The pure, good powers of Michael Jackson have been overcome by the dark powers of Tyra. It is between Shannon, Bianca and Kayla and Shannon stays. Booooooooring.

The ranks are thinning! Who will go on to become et cetera? ONLY TYRA KNOWS!

street style: jess

2011-10-27T07:30:00.000+08:00

Jess was another stylish young lady I found in Brunswick, Melbourne. Please excuse the awful photography and blurry head; I had a much cuter head-shot, but this is the best look at the dress. And what a dress! Take it from me, the Panda Dress is going to be the next big thing. As soon as I can start manufacturing and selling them. I love that this dress is so simple (it would be dead easy to sew, with no sleeves) and just lets the beautiful print stand out. Adorable!

project runway season 9 episode 13

2011-10-26T19:06:00.001+08:00

OMG you guys, Fashion Week is almost here and I have nothing to wear!!! Our old pals Anya, Viktor, Kimberley and Josh are working hard, though. They each have $9,000 and 5 weeks to create 10 looks. Let's check up on them, SHALL WE?

I always love this part of the season, when Tim Gunn goes to visit everyone. Mostly because the more Tim Gunn I see, the happier I am. First he visits Kimberley. She's sewing clothes, I guess. It was kind of boring. But now Tim is off to Trinidad to visit Anya! Yaaaay!

Anya has two adorable brothers who have the same adorable accent. She tells a sad story about her brother dying that makes me sad. Show me some clothes to cheer me up Anya! Bad news: Anya has not made any clothes. All she has to show Tim is a bunch of fabric, not even sketched designs. Oh shit, Anya choked! She explains later that she had a lot of fun during the show but didn't realise what a big impact she was having until she got back to Trinidad and her family. I can imagine that this put a lot of pressure onto her. But man, Tim's visit is your ultimate advantage! Oh dear.

Now Tim is off to visit Viktor. Viktor tells a sad story about losing his brother, but it kind of loses impact by following Anya's story. Sorry! Viktor's boyfriend David is totally sweet, so maybe he is not as awful as he seems? Viktor has based his collection on photos from a trip to Mexico and has used his photos in fabric design. It is not to my taste. He has also made a trip back to a mid-80s country-and-western music video to pick up a jacket.

It is white leather with pearls sewn all over the sleeves. Tim is nuts about it. Later at judging the judges go nuts over it. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? It looks like Dolly Parton's costume for a Christmas Spectacular!

Tim visits Josh, who brings his sister to lunch. I think they must get a two-for-one tanning deal. Her name is McKenzie, which makes her full name McKenzie McKinley. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE. Josh's collection is full of bright colours, plastic and even lenticular fabric. No surprises there! He has based his entire collection on a godawful vintage fabric. Tim hates it. He describes it as 'homely' and Josh's eyes go all murderous. I am thankful that there is a camera crew there to protect Tim if necessary.

Now they are all in New York, in a fabulous apartment. Viktor says, "I feel like I'm going to prom! Seriously, I'm so nervous!" That is a weird analogy. Also he is wearing capri pants.

The designers have to show a 'mini-collection' of three pieces to determine which three will go to Fashion Week. Everyone is fluttering around madly, especially Anya, who showed up with a pretty disappointing collection. Josh asks Anya if he should use a blue or a cream shoe. Anya responds diplomatically, "The blue is very you!" He misunderstands and uses the blue shoe. Viktor gets his make-up done with the models and comes out looking even sillier than Josh. Anya is still cutting hems at the last minute. It's mayhem, I tell you!

Viktor's collection is... okay. I woudn't wear it myself. It's all very showy. One of the looks is a white jacket over a black top with black glass rectangles sewn all over it, and pants with a photographic print.

Viktor whispers triumphantly, "You can't go wrong with a tuxedo with glass!" as though this is a well-known fashion guideline. I'm pretty sure you can, though.

Kimberley's collection is kind of nice but also not my thing. The weirdest outfit is one she describes as great for evening or for work, which I question when the model turns around and the back of the top comes up to her shoulderblades.

It's a pity the designers didn't get to choose and fit their models, because the skirt in the outfit was NOT made for a white girl, especially not a model-thin one. It looks like it was built to accommodate at least two or three booties.

Anya's collection is really disappointing: one cute day dress, an ill-fitting bathing suit with wispy coverall, and a really awful last-minute satin evening dress. It's clear that she choked, and the satin is not a forgiving fabric for someone with limited sewing skills. Oh Anya!

Josh's collection shocks and horrifies me by not being the worst one. It's very upsetting! In fact, I kind of love his evening gown with a plastic neckpiece! His LBD is made of neoprene (can you imagine wearing something like that for an entire evening, in a warm room?) but is not horribly cut. Luckily he has a totally nutty outfit in there as well, which he has chosen to accessorise with safety glasses.

Thanks Josh!

But WHO will go to Fashion Week? Oh, the suspense! The judges like Viktor (of course), think Josh is okay, think Kimberley needs some work and think Anya's stuff is pretty disappointing. It seems fairly cut and dried. As expected, Viktor is in and Josh is in (he says "I'm very humbled," which is patently untrue). The third place goes to Kimberley. Although I prefer Anya's work, she really did a terrible job here and it's a fair decision. I am still surprised that Anya is out, as she has been a runaway fan favourite from the beginning.

BUT WHAT'S THIS?!? Anya is in too! It will be a four-person show! UNPRECEDENTED! Anya is overjoyed and goes backstage to tell the others and oh my goodness Josh is PISSED. He is gritting his teeth so hard through his smile he may be wearing them down!

"I'm almost mad at you!" he says playfully (furiously). "If you weren't this beautiful I'd be pissed off right now!" Ha ha, that's a normal thing to say, for sure! Very natural!

So there you go! DRAMA. And only a few days to go till the finale!!! WHO WILL WIN?!? As long as Josh busts out the safety glasses and the neoprene, we all will.

the book was better episode 5: species

2011-10-26T13:15:00.002+08:00

Yes, for our Halloween episode Luke and I read the novelisation of Species. And it was every bit as bad as you'd think. Listen to us bitch about it! We're hilarious!

You can also subscribe on iTunes and get episodes delivered piping hot and fresh to your hard drive every fortnight. Get to it!

street style: will, hannah & angie

2011-10-25T10:37:00.000+08:00

I thought I would take a billion street style photos in Melbourne, but I only got a few. The first girl I asked said she was a fashion blogger herself and wanted to stay on that side of the camera! Overall I think I just felt a bit shy and unsure of myself, being off my own turf. I did however catch these cute kids in Brunswick!

Hannah not only wore a sailor suit, she was carrying a Kate Beaton tote! What a champ.

Her friends were just as stylish! The dude (Will) told me that I was the third fashion blogger to ask for their photo that day. That is NOT something that happens to me in Perth!

antm s17 e06

2011-10-23T11:11:00.000+08:00

Hullo everybody! I have been on holiday in Melbourne and have been cut off from the world (of TV) for a week. I took lots of photos and I'll show them to you later, because nothing is more interesting than photos of someone else's holidays. But first, the important stuff: OMG MODDLES!!!

This week is the Charity Challenge! Yay! To be honest I don't actually remember this being a Thing, but everyone seems to act like it is so I guess it's just so boring that I've never paid attention to it. A socialite and a model are there, and they have "organised" (shown up to) a flag football game! Hooray! And $10,000 will go to charity! Whooo! OK, that actually seems like not a lot of money, but whatever! And the models will have to stop playing to have photos taken, and the winner of Best Photo will get a photo on Tyra's website (ATTENTION: TYRA HAS A WEBSITE) and some shitty jewellery that the socialite "designed." Also there are some NFL dudes!

The models play football I guess? There is a lot of running around and screaming, anyway. Bianca takes any opportunity to elbow Lisa in the face, which is reprehensible but which fills me with dark delight. Bianca says of Lisa, "She's a whole lotta ball of fire... with no flame," an insult that she clearly had not prepared earlier.

Kayla wins the challenge and goes to the photo shoot, which is to be styled by Andre Leon Talley. He is waiting for her in an outfit which could easily be turned into a racist Halloween costume by the addition of buck teeth.

This is never explained. ALT's styling consists of putting Kayla in a feathery vest in front of a green screen and telling her to do a high kick.

Now it is time for the real photo shoot, and the theme (obviously chosen to capitalise on the tension between the models) is "bitchfight"! Charming. When this is announced Bianca and Bre look rapturously happy; Allison looks terrified (although that might just be her default expression). Supermodel Coco Rocha is in the photos too. The results are pretty predictable, including one model being terrible, going off to cry and be comforted by Mr Jay, and then coming back to do a great job. (This episode it was Angelea.) Laura's job seems to be the hardest, as she is just being pushed into the air to land on a mattress over and over again. She is a champ though. I love you Laura! Bre terrifies Coco by screaming continuously in her face about the police and how she's going to kill her. Basically all of the photos look like this:

Lisa is worried about her "low" confidence. "Confidence level, I'd say I'm always usually at a 9 or a 10." I think she may be using a scale of 1 to 5.

After the shoot the girls relax in the hot tub. Bre and Alexandria are super-confident, because they had fun. Uh-oh! They all seem to be wearing bikinis except Allison, who wears a shirt and sweater. There isn't really any joke here, I just wanted to draw it.

OK now off to panel! Lisa continues her unbroken streak of annoying me by wearing huge irridescent mirrored shades, a corset and suspenders. She describes her look as "OG." Sadly the black models laugh at her instead of kicking her ass.

Lisa has her mouth open in her photo, as she does in EVERY photo. While other girls are criticised for going over the top, or for mistaking ugly for ugly-pretty, Lisa gets nothing but praise from Nigel. Nigel, what does this woman have on you? Blackmailers will never give up, you know. Have you ever heard the term 'justifiable homicide?'

Angelea's photo turns out great. Tyra gushes, "I feel her pain and I love every minute of it," which is the most sincere thing I've ever heard her say.

My darling Laura is third last (you monsters!) but Bre and Alexandria are the bottom two, and Bre goes home. She does something I have never seen done on ANTM, which is walk off the stage instead of waiting for Tyra's condescending speech. I hope it is a gesture of defiance but I suspect she got confused. Poor Bre, you seemed actually pretty nice.

And that's the show for another week. I hear the next photo shoot is going to have the girls in lingerie having a pillowfight and then making out. Hot!

project runway season 9 episode 12

2011-10-15T12:41:00.000+08:00

OMG you guys the final challenge!!! Who is going to Fashion Week?!? Who is going to cry on the runway?!? It is possible for Josh's shirts to get any more unbuttoned?!? Find out below the cut!

The designers are taken to Governor's Island for inspiration. There are sculptures and nature and stuff. The challenge is to design three looks which show the designer's range, and they will have two days.

Josh's brother is in the military, and Josh is inspired by what he calls "artillerary." The camera lingers on a suspiciously Freudian shot of him inspecting a cannon.

The others are inspired by nature and sculpture and blah blah blah. Laura is very taken with circles and wants to make a dress with circles all over it. I can already tell this is a bad idea. She isn't sure how to make this happen, but at Mood she finds a fabric which is just big black circles joined together and the negative space cut out. It is pretty awful. Laura reminds the audience that she is very rich and privileged: "When it comes to spending money, I like the finer things in life. I'm going to buy buy buy." What a sympathetic character!

Of course, there's a Twist. Five eliminated designers are back to work as assistants! Josh gets Bryce, who doesn't think much of his designs. "It looks very you," Bryce says diplomatically, which he of course takes as a compliment. "I am capable of clean clean work," says Josh, who is becoming increasingly deluded. He has an idea to paint clear plastic and make it look like stained glass. Sadly Bryce talks him out of this, so we will never see this masterpiece. He is using plastic mesh, however. Classy!

Josh is also becoming increasingly bitchy and paranoid about Anya. "I just had twenty thousand dollars swept away from me by a beauty queen," he tells Bryce, who looks skeptical. "It's like, what was it, the beauty or the talent?" At this point I am just surprised that Josh admits that Anya is prettier than him.

Laura is so thrilled with her circle cut-out fabric that she puts it on everything: a dress, a vest and a capelet. The dress under the capelet is a sad tie-dyed brown, but the others are white. It looks completely nuts.

Tim advises her to scale back, and she reluctantly agrees (which means making one of the pieces without circles).

Kimberley is having trouble. Tim tells her that her sparkly gown looks like the Statue of Liberty and when her model tries on the pants her bottom hangs all the way out. As it, the centre back seam can't be closed. It's a good look for a Pride Parade but not so good for the runway.

As it turns out, it is Josh who presents the Statue of Liberty dress. He has made a 'gown' out of silver Lurex(!) which looks like a bathing suit cover-up from 1978.

When Heidi asks him if he was attracted to the fabric because it was "nice and shiny," Josh gets very snippy. "Is that an assumption?" he asks nonsensically. His other looks are no better: one of them consists of a dumpy vest over a red t-shirt and a silver rah-rah skirt.

Kimberley gets very snippy on the runway. "That's your opinion," she tells the judges. Yes, that's the point of judging, Kimberley. Laura cries because she is so passionate about fashion, but she should be crying about her terrible clothes. She has made a sad nightie-looking dress, an old lady jacket out of the circles and a nutty dress.

The model looks like she has been caught in plastic rings in the sea and is posing for an anti-littering campaign.

The judges love Anya's collection, of course. The camera cuts to Josh looking angry.

Viktor's collection is very commercial (boring), but the judges tell him he is the best of the designers at sewing. The camera cuts to Josh looking pissed off.

Then it is time for the designers to say why they should go to Fashion Week, and who should go with them. Every person chooses Anya as one of their choices. No-one chooses Kimberley. When Kimberley chooses Laura and Anya, the camera cuts to Josh looking narky.

Anya is chosen, of course. Viktor is chosen, equally predictably. Then Josh is chosen. Argh! Of course, he has some self-aggrandising nonsense ready for the occasion: "I'm starting to write my book, my history, which means that years after I'm gone, someone will be able to look back and research this moment for me." WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT

Kimberley is the fourth designer and Laura is out. I feel kind of sorry for her until she says that she is surprised and that she was sure she would be in the top three. Here's a tip, Laura, before you say something, say it in your head and see if it's going to make people hate you.

Well, Fashion Week is around the corner! There will be an Extra Big edition of the recap next week. Until then, go buy some silver Lurex and start draping!

antm s17 e05

2011-10-14T20:28:00.000+08:00

Welcome to the Blackface Edition of America's Next Top Model: All Stars! Spoilers under the cut.

Lisa is still around, and I still can't stand her. She talks about what a good opportunity this is to "brand myself." I'll brand you, Lisa. Just let me get a fire started. Angelea thinks the other girls look down on her, saying that "she doesn't know her mannerisms." Angelea, you are not doing a great job of breaking down preconceptions about models' intellect. She complains that no major agency wanted to book her after she was on ANTM, which she found baffling. Maybe she should have watched the episodes she was in?

There is some kind of nonsense about dividing up phone time for the models. Shannon says there is an hour and a half left so they can each have 20 minutes. Bianca suspects something is wrong with this math and asks Shannon about it. She does it very politely and gently, especially for Bianca, but Shannon immediately melts into a puddle of tears and pulls a martyr act, insisting that Bianca take her minutes. "I have a sensitive spirit!" she protests. Lisa starts yelling because Lisa doesn't like not yelling. "She's scared of dogs and I'm a pit bull," she later confides to the camera in a rare moment of self-awareness.

The challenge takes place on a boardwalk, where Miss J greets them dressed in what one of the models describes as "a fisherman's uniform." They will be modelling the Kardashian sisters' line of clothing for Sears, another example of the 'high fashion' that ANTM features. The models get very excited about the Kardashians, who are real role models for people wanting to be famous for nothing in particular. The prize for the challenge is… an outfit from Sears. High stakes!

But of course, there's a stupid twist, because that's what this show is all about! The models will have to step onto a moving carousel, then off, then on, then off. Just like in real modelling!

Lisa is first. She humps a horse, because of course of course. Angelea screams and whoops and then blows air kisses and says "hey girls" to the Kardashians. Miss J comments that she reminds him of "someone's alcoholic aunt." Bianca does a little pole dance.

Alexandria is determined to win. So determined, in fact, that she gets lost in her own metaphors. "I didn't sign myself up to play with some minnows in a little pond, I'm with the big dogs now. Let's fight with some sharks. We're gonna use our teeth, fins…" Sadly she doesn't use her teeth or fins on the runway.

Bianca doesn't win (Bre and Lisa get the 'prize') and she is pissed off. "I'm not a person who breaks easily" says the girl who bursts into tears at heights, dogs, or water. She is super-grumpy. It's boring.

Then Bre's earrings are insane. This picture is not an exaggeration. They are as big as her head. Is this a Thing now?

Also, can I stop a minute to talk about how much I hate Tyra's sign-off? "Fierce and love, Tyra." NO. FIERCE IS NOT A NOUN. GOD DAMMIT.

For the photo shoot, the models will be portraying Michael Jackson over the years. (Notably ending in the 80s.) LaToya Jackson is there to help with the shoot. Her smooth, unlined face and wide-open eyes are terrifying.

For this shoot, the white girls are given afro wigs, and Shannon, Allison and Lisa are put in blackface. Yup, seems like a good idea! Nothing wrong with that! Good work, television!

The photos all turn out pretty good, with a couple of exceptions. Lisa does yet another photo with her legs akimbo, this time doing a metal-style leap. You know, like Michael Jackson used to do when he was in Poison. Laura wins best photo because she is adorable and I love her.

But this week LaToya has decided the order. It gets down to Angelea and Lisa and I dislike both of them but Lisa's photo is truly wretched and I am sure she is going home. Tyra asks LaToya to announce the loser and… no-one is sent home?!? Because Michael loved everyone?!? WHAT THE FUCK?!?

Angelea tells the camera, "I feel like someone saved me. I don't know if it was LaToya, it could have been Michael, it could have been Jesus, I don't know."

"I died that thou may'st win Top Model."

street style: alicia

2011-10-14T09:51:00.000+08:00

Alicia was running out on an errand in her paint-stained work clothes when I hassled her for her photo. I couldn't help it, though-- how great is this outfit? Peter Pan collar, adorable gumboots, lovely muted colour combination. She apologised for not wearing make-up but as you can see she is naturally gorgeous! This does nothing to slow my collar obsession/addiction...

the book was better episode 4: high school musical

2011-10-12T11:36:00.000+08:00

Did you know that I have a podcast, and it's really funny? All my friends think so, anyway. At least, that's what they tell me. Oh man, what if they're just trying not to hurt my feelings? WHAT IF MY PODCAST IS AWFUL?

That's it, you have to listen to it and tell me what you think! In this episode we talk about the novelisation of the High School Musical movie. It's as terrible as it sounds! Also we get really dirty for some reason. You'll love it!

70s crafts

2011-10-11T11:52:00.000+08:00

US National Archives, 1972

Lately I've been really digging 1970s crafts. The 70s look is very present in fashion at the moment but I've always loved 70s style. I've noticed some awesome and fun retro craft projects online, so here are some of my favourites!

Macrame is one of those crafts that makes people cringe and is trotted out as an example of the low-skill, quick and ugly crafts of the period. But lately I've seen some beautiful, updated takes on the craft. (Also, my friend Lizzy of Craft or GTFO really hates macrame, which means that I have to find lots of projects to post on her Facebook wall.) Heather Moore of Skinny Laminx recently shared a tutorial for crafting these plant hangers which are stylish and minimal but still have the hand-crafted feel.

Photo by Heather Moore.

To be honest, I love the old-style macrame as much as the elegant modern version. Etsy seller macraMe makes these adorable owl necklaces for the very reasonable price of $12 US. You could buy yourself one and buy me one while you're at it!

If you want some guidance with 70s projects, the wonderful Cathy of California has published a book of craft projects inspired by the period! Vintage Craft Workshop looks like it has lots of fun projects-- I'll definitely be buying myself a copy.

Of course, you can do more familiar crafts in a 70s style. This was the period when crochet really came back into fashion, and it was used for everything from ponchos to bikinis. There are plenty of crochet patterns on Etsy and eBay (and in your local op shop). Some of them are pretty depressing to look at, but others are really beautiful!

Reproduction pattern available from mcu1967 on eBay

Vintage pattern available from patrician1098 on eBay

One skill I would love to develop is patchwork. I love the 70s take on 'pioneer' style! Check out this amazing quilted jacket from Flickr user Violet Folklore:

Photo by Violet Folklore

You can see more beautiful vintage clothes at her Etsy store, although the wonderful jacket must have sold.

God's eyes are not part of an Australian childhood, but I understand from watching movies about summer camp that they were a popular craft in the 70s (and possibly still today). Prudent Baby has a tutorial on making these-- how gorgeous would this be in bright pink and yellow?

Finally, if you want to get really authentic, you can tap into the era's love for using plastics in crafts and do some FOAMCRAFTING!

Just think: the crafts made from this book will never biodegrade. They will last longer than the Sistine Chapel!

"For fun"? Or for nightmares? You decide!

(Full disclosure: I would totally make that giraffe.)

nails: disco ball

2011-10-10T12:07:00.000+08:00

I was so excited when I saw that my beloved Rimmel had brought out a glitter polish, Disco Ball! I have wanted to try one for a while but Rimmel is my go-to trusted brand so I snatched it up.

This was my first time using a glitter polish, and I was a bit naive. I assumed that my nails would look like the bottle, ie densely glittery. What I should have realised is that when you look at the bottle, you're looking at a gazillion layers of nailpolish! The photo above shows 5 layers, which is a LOT. I really didn't love the way it looked on my bare nails, so I took it off.

Did I mention this was the first time I had tried glitter nailpolish?

I generally use acetone-free pads to remove nailpolish. This stuff instantly ripped them to shreds! I had to break out the evil nailpolish remover and even then it was ripping the hell out of the cotton pads I was using. I think in the future I'll have to have a bit of towel or flannel I can throw away afterwards. That stuff is a bitch!

I tried Disco Ball again over a silver polish from the OPI Nicole range that I got in my Lust Have It sample box.

It looked... okay. Again, I didn't love it. The OPI polish started to chip pretty fast and the overall effect was kind of tacky.

Despite vowing 'never again' as I once more struggled to get it off, once I looked at a few photos online I realised that I could get a really pretty effect with this polish by layering it with other colours.

ookka on Flickr achieved a sophisticated look that is actually quite close to the way it looks in the bottle by layering it over grey polish. (Check out her photostream for amazing nail photos!)

Zoe from Girl in a Teeny Town layered it over a pretty lilac colour (and added bling!) for a sweet and pretty effect.

Jenni from Gold Speck Nails achieved this amazing space effect by layering Disco Ball and a finer glitter (Maybelline Colorama Ice Princess) over an indigo polish. Gorgeous!

I'll definitely be keeping it in my collection and trying it again over other colours. I bet it would look really awesome on toes, too. Hmmm...

project runway episode 11

2011-10-09T13:38:00.000+08:00

This week's episode was a return to "high fashion" and you know what that means: ridiculous outfits. Thank goodness! There was a nutty theme, lots of pressure, stressful surprises and one meltdown in the bathroom. Yay!

Everyone is still reeling from Anthony Ryan being sent home. Viktor observes that "Well, it just shows you that when Heidi says is true. One day you're in, one day you're out. In fashion." No Viktor, that pretty much just applies to the show, which is why Heidi says it on the show. But good try!

Viktor has plenty of zingers this week. For instance, when Heidi tells the designers that for this challenge they will have to spread their wings, he tells the camera, "My wings are spread, girl. Okay?" He hurriedly adds, "I'm just playing," in case viewers get confused and think he has actual wings. The group discusses what this will mean and apparently settle on skydiving. Yes, that is probably what this challenge is about. You morons.

As it turns out, the challenge is to create a high-fashion look inspired by birds. I am pretty excited about this! The challenge is designed to promote some new L'Oreal collection, which I am simultaneously cynical about and absolutely going to buy. The prize is an advertorial in Marie Claire and $20,000, so the designers are pretty keen.

They are all split into pairs, which makes them groan, but there's a Twist: this is a head-to-head challenge, which means that in each pair there will be a top and and bottom designer and this is how the top 3 and bottom 3 will be chosen! Each pair gets assigned a bird for inspiration. Anya and Laura get the raven, Josh and Bert get an Amazonian parrot, and Viktor and Kimberley get a cockatoo.

The challenge immediately brings out the bitchiness, as it is obviously designed to do. Josh thinks that he "brings a high-fashion eye' to design which will give him an edge over Bert, which makes me laugh merrily. Bert is depressed because he hates green. Cheer up, Bert! At Mood, Josh loads up on the ugliest, most fluorescent and man-made fabrics and notions he can find. His pile looks like he is planning to make dance costumes. Have you ever wondered what is the ugliest colour? Well, Josh has an answer for you:

He then proceeds to make long strips of brightly-coloured polyester chiffon and knot them together in complicated ways until he has created a monstrosity that even he can see is not working.

He scraps this and starts making something even uglier, which is kind of impressive. It's a circle skirt with reverse applique of a giant feather. How's that high-fashion eye working for you, Josh?

Viktor continues to irritate me every time he opens his mouth. He refers to his own work as 'glamazing' and says of Anya's dress, "This is like, saying: Hello, sexy!... dot com." WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT VIKTOR DOT ORG.

Now Tim comes in with a surprise. They have to make a second high-fashion look, based on the same inspiration, and both looks will be worn by the same model! Hmm, is anyone suspicious about this? Nope, they are just freaking out.

To make things worse, there is a cockroach in the workroom. Everyone jumps up on tables and screams until Anya kills it. Josh compares her to Lara Croft.

Kimberley is not doing well. Her fabric is stained, her look isn't working, she sews through her finger. He has a minor meltdown but she also tells sad stories about her family that I can't make fun of. Jeez, give me something to work with here!

Having ditched his look, Josh is short of fabric and asks Anya for some. She says maybe but has no intention of giving him anything, which is a little bit off after everyone helped her last week. I guess after winning with everyone else's help she realised that it's a bad idea? As she puts it, "It's one thing to be doing it a few challenges ago..." Anya, I love you, don't be a dick! I don't want to hate you! Especially after hearing you say 'raven' in your beautiful accent. 'Ray-vun,' you say, putting equal stress on both syllables. Don't take that away from me!

Making things worse, she asks Bert for advice on construction, which he gives her. Oh Anya!

Tim comes into the workroom. He asks Josh, "Qu'est-ce que c'est?" and Josh asks, "What's a kes-ke-say?" Oh Josh, haven't you ever listened to Talking Heads? Josh, having run out of fabric and time, has accidentally made a nice, simple dress. Bert suspects him of trying to duplicate his work or "impersonate" him, but I am pretty sure that if Josh could make another Mood trip for rhinestones the similarity would disappear fast.

Kimberley is depressed and Tim gives her a hug. Tim is the best! He cheers her on. Unfortunately her model comes in and she has boobs, which make the mostly-transparent dress she has made look "vulgar." Then she accidentally throws her dress on a hot glue gun and burns a hole in it. She has three hours to go and some polyester she bought for lining, and she has to start a new dress. Now that's good television! She starts making a long, one-shoulder white evening gown, which upsets Viktor, who has been making a long, one-shoulder evening gown.

There is just a couple of hours left before runway, and Tim appears to tell them that... only one of their looks will appear on the runway and they have to choose which one. I get so excited that I shout "NO!!!" and my husband comes in from the other room to see what happened. Some are happy and some are frustrated. Josh, for instance, doesn't know which one to choose. "They're both so different!" Yes, but only one of them is hideous.

Anya and Laura both choose unexpected looks: Anya has made a tailored, constructed dress (which I love) and Laura has made a jacket and pants. Unfortunately Laura's look (extremely tight pants, black jacket with burgundy feathers at the neck) looks like Goth Officewear.

The judges hate Laura's literal interpretation of the raven and love Anya's cute dress. Unfortunately what they don't know is that Anya left out any zippers or fastenings, thinking that the dress would be stretchy enough to slip over her model, and had to cut it and sew it back on to her. The other designers are understandably a little frustrated.

The judges also love Josh's dress, which I have to admit made me yawn.

I know, I know: it isn't easy to make a simple dress, draping is hard, etc. It just seemed like such a snooze. The only thing they didn't like was the stupid feathery corsage at the shoulder, which was the most Josh thing about the garment.

Bert tells the judges right away that he 's not happy with his dress (big mistake!). He blames it on his inspiration, a "short, dumpy little parrot." He has chosen to deal with the problem of green by hiding a flash of colour underneath his beloved grey, which could have been cool but just isn't. His dress is bland and generic, and if there's one thing the judges hate, it's bland.

The judges choose Kimberley's outfit over Viktor's, because his is too literal. No-one comments on the similarity of the dresses. Am I losing my mind?

Anya wins, which makes Josh furious. Bert is out, which is probably for the best. And we all march on towards Fashion Week!

inspiration: kenzo finale

2011-10-07T16:04:00.000+08:00

Image source unknown.

The Kenzo Spring/Summer 2011 show ended with a grand finale which paid homage to the label's past 40 years by layering pieces from past seasons in imaginative and playful ways. These images make me feel so happy; they remind me of dolls in national costume.

Image from Style Bubble.

I want to visit the imaginary countries where everyone dresses like this.

Image from Style Bubble.

The juxtaposition of the fabrics and colours and prints is exquisite.

Image from Style Bubble.

I love these prim and quiet ensembles as much as the colourful ones! How amazing is that little waistcoat over the oversized stripy shirtdress?

Image from Style Bubble.

I need five brightly-coloured petticoats, each a little shorter than the last!

Image from Style Bubble.

The creative director Antonio Marras described it as "like a music box with 40 ballerinas."

Image source unknown.

I love the fact that the show actually subverts the use-value of the clothing by positioning it in different ways.

I originally saw an image of the show on Kayte Terry's blog love forever, where you can see lots more beautiful and inspiring images!

antm s17 e04

2011-10-06T20:47:00.000+08:00

The march towards total cultural collapse continues this week on America's Next Top Model: All Stars. This week the models have to do something all models need to be good at. No, not marrying rock stars, acting!

First, however, we need to get our weekly dose of Drama! The girls get mail, but for some reason Camille's mail is full of bills. This is because she is a grown-up. She tells us about how she is older than the rest and modelling doesn't bring in all that much money and this is her last chance at happiness (implied). In fact throughout the show we return to Camille talking about how the other girls are younger and can bounce back but she can't afford to get kicked out. I wonder what all this means?

Never mind because Kayla's collapsing! She is dizzy and hyperventilating and she took something? It is so dramatic that one of the camera guys puts down his camera! Don't worry, one or two are still recording the girls looking worried. "This is very scary for me," Dominique complains. Kayla goes to hospital with Laura (who is definitely the one you would want in hospital with you, she is a sweetheart). She has had an episode of cardiac arrhythmia. But the show must go on!

The challenge this week is an audition for CSI, which everyone is extremely excited about. They are taken to the set. "I feel like I'm in the actual place!" enthuses Alexandria. It's confusing! They meet the boss of CSI, who is wearing the shiniest suit I have ever seen. Classy!

But wait! They have to learn lines! With long words!! Oh shit. As Kayla puts it, "Half the words are longer than my face!" Then how are they going to fit into your head?!?

The models are predictably terrible. They struggle especially with the phrase 'gas chromatograph mass spectrometer.' Dominique gives up completely and calls it the ass gas mass. Lisa just says the word 'fuck' a whole bunch. Bre and Angelea both do well but Bre wins.

The photo shoot is for an online clothes shop Express, which will give the cycle winner a contract. As a result the clothes are pretty boring catalogue stuff, and the styling is bland. Oh, except for the GIANT FUR HAT they put on Kayla, making it look like a wombat is eating her head.

The models are given one of four 'characters' or words to embody: girlfriend, socialite, flirt, and one I can't remember. Serial killer? Lumberjack? For some reason, even though several of the other women have modelled professionally after ANTM, Bianca considers herself to be the only 'real' model. She reveals that she is not bothering to think about the word 'flirt', because "in the real world of modelling, you don't get a word." Mr Jay pulls her aside to ask her why she is doing a crappy job and she can't imagine why.

Alexandria is put in a bright red suit that makes her look like a real estate agent. Mr Jay says that the way she is modelling it makes her look a) like a madam and b) old. I think some of the blame should go to the tomato suit but she is being pretty awful. In the final photo she has one hand in front of her like a robot and the other flexed backwards like she just dropped her chip packet behind her.

Lisa is turned up to 11, as usual. She insists on jumping constantly, and then makes the poor male models carry her while she cackles insanely. Even back at the house she can't stop jumping. Someone once told her her energy was charming and she has based her entire personality on it.

Have you noticed how Tyra is always wearing suspenders this season? So far she has resisted the urge to stick her thumbs behind them and strut around, although she may do that backstage. The photos are are totally boring catalogue stuff. Lisa continues to drive me nuts by walking backwards on the runway. She is wearing a giant pink knitted bow in her hair and looks truly demented.

The judges appear to share one iPad during judging. You should write to Apple, I bet they would gives you another one for free! Then you could share one between two instead of handing it around. One of the judges is the CSI dude, who knows lots about modelling and is just a really good judge and cool guy. One of the photos is a profile and he comments, "If I'm writing a cheque, I don't want to pay for half a face!" Good point!

Andre Leon Talley, who loves to slip French words into his conversation (so sophisticated!) begins, "I am so absolutely fatiguée--" "Tired!" shouts Tyra, excited by this opportunity to school the viewers. Thanks, Tyra! You are so, 'ow you say, cosmopolitan!

Angelea gets top photo for looking like a Russian housewife/hooker and Lisa and Camille are on the bottom. Gosh, who will it be? They are both in trouble for making excuses. "Lisa left the room and her cousin, the Excuse Monster, came in!" says Tyra, in what is presumably a pre-written speech. It makes sense that Lisa's relatives are monsters. Still nobody calls her on her giant bow. Camille goes home, of course.

Modelling!

street style: perrie

2011-10-05T21:11:00.000+08:00

Today I took my first proper street style photo, ie someone who isn't one of my mates! Turns out that well-dressed people are actually very intimidating to approach, and asking complete strangers if you can take their photo is really hard. But when I saw this girl's outfit I took the chance!

And guess what: she turned out to be a total sweetie!

I love everything about Perrie's look: the rad white lightning dress, the cute white handbag, the single red earring. She even had beautiful bakelite-style bracelets!

To me, this is the best side of style and clothing: having fun putting together an outfit, and wearing it with confidence and panache. Bravo!

pilot recap: hart of dixie

2011-10-05T14:09:00.000+08:00

Hart of Dixie is a show about puns! A cute HEART surgeon named HART has to go live in Alabama which is called DIXIE because of something something slavery. It's adorable!

Oh wait, it's totally puke-worthy. My mistake!

I always wonder with shows like this, do they some up with a name and then shoehorn a premise into it? That's definitely what this feels like. It's an utterly cynical mishmash of Things Test Audiences Like covered with a syrupy sweet goo of sentimentality.

The show begins and is punctuated with narration by its protagonist, Dr Zoe Hart. She begins with her graduation, where she was voted Cutest Doctor or something. Unfortunately she narrates all over her graduation speech, which sounds pretty interesting. It is about how she first used a scalpel at age 9. "Dad and I snuck out and dissected" she begins before she is drowned out; I can only assume there is a cute story about a homeless person in there.

After her speech a twinkly-eyed old man comes over and asks her to come to a small town in Alabama and be a doctor there, but she wants to be a heart surgeon because her name is Hart. He stares at her like he's putting a gypsy curse on her. Maybe he is transfixed by the amount of eyeliner she has managed to shove on. Zoe's mum is awful because that is a thing on TV, women's mothers are awful. Also she doesn't want her to be a doctor. Mums hate their kids being doctors, that's for sure!

Despite her lofty ambitions, Zoe is in for some eye-opening shocks! First her boyfriend dumps her because she talks about heart surgery all the time, probably mostly in pun form. Then the boss of the hospital won't let her be a heart surgeon!!! When she points out that she is very good at heart surgery, he tells her, "If you want to be a heart surgeon, you've got to work on your own." Although he agrees that she is the best heart surgeon he has seen in 30 years, he was very sad when she wouldn't read a book to an elderly patient.

"I don't care if you are brilliant, Missy! This is New York, and if you want to

make it in this town you need to learn how to love!"

This is just completely reasonable and believable, New York surgeons are definitely expected to do a lot of reading to the patients because this frees up the nurses to give foot massages and paint the patients' portraits. The boss of hospitals tells Zoe to go be a GP for a year before he lets her be a heart surgeon! Oh snap! Does he even know what her name is? But there are no jobs for GPs in New York. WHERE WILL SHE GO?!? Luckily the complete stranger who accosted her at her graduation has been sending her regular postcards asking her to come work with him, and instead of contacting the police she decides this is probably a very good idea.

Zoe takes a bus to the town of Bluebell, Alabama, where the twinkly doctor lives. (I guess she didn't realise that she would need a car to get around a small rural town, but that's OK, because everything there is apparently in walking distance.) From here on in everything is shot with yellow cellophane over the lens, because Rural America is full of Sunshine and Values and Old-Fashioned Real People.

Also there is the most awful country music forever.

She gets a lift from a Handsome Lawyer who does his own twinkling and is full of Good Old-Fashioned Chivalry ma'am. When he drops her off he says, "I hope you find what you're looking for." Sure, just a normal thing to say to a stranger, no problems. Zoe goes to the doctor's practice but he has been dead for four months. Um excuse me? Oh it's okay, his nurse just kept sending postcards that he wrote in advance before his death so that he could stalk her from beyond the grave. Oh and he has left her his half of the practice! That's cool.

Zoe walks around the town with the nurse (sassy and bossy but with a heart of et cetera) and sees a bunch of girls dressed up like toilet roll cover dolls. These are the Belles! They are the Mean Girls of this town, because as we all know historical reenactments are so hot right now. Zoe mildly questions the politics of paying tribute to a way of life which was made possible by the slavery of actual human beings, which in turn has left deep psychic scars and socio-economic problems which persist to this day, but the nurse pooh-poohs this big-city liberal hoohah and points out that the Belles are just keeping the town's history alive. Okay then! Also she says the Belles are worse than the Sopranos, so I spend the rest of the episode waiting for kneecaps to be broken. (Spoiler: no kneecaps get broken.) The daughter of her new medical partner is a Belle and she is blonde and her name is Lemon and she is obvs totally evil. She describes Zoe as the new "lady doctor", which makes me wonder if she has seen any television made after 1965.

Then Zoe asks the nurse for a Venti latte et cetera and the nurse actually uses the phrase "high-falutin'."

Zoe has nowhere to live so she goes to the Major's house, which is called the Plantation Mansion or something, and she feels uncomfortable with the Confederate overtones but then it turns out the Mayor is BLACK! Twist!!! Also he is an ex-footballer who refers to himself in the third person, so: totally likeable. He tells her to look out for Burt Reynolds. Oh man what does he even mean?!? This is going to be great! He puts her in a shack that shares a generator with another shack. The lights go out and she storms over to the other house to yell at the dude for using electricity. He is playing Rock Band with a bunch of Sexy Ladies. One of them is playing the drums, but without a drum kit, just in the air. Sexy! Then on the way back there is an alligator and she is scared and falls over, but the Handsome Lawyer explains that it is Burt Reynolds, the mayor's pet alligator. Oh snap!!! It thought it was going to be a person but it is an alligator!!! Also that big-city girl is pretty stupid for being afraid of an alligator which is just a really good pet to have because alligators are so easy to train and not dangerous at all.

Then Mr Handsome gets run over because she gave an old dude an eye exam but he cheated which she totally should have known because everyone knows he cheats at the eye exam, and there is a tween blogger (good character!) and she meets the mean doctor who owns half the practice and he is totally mean and she buys a box of wine and gets drunk walking back to her house and then she makes out with the Rock Band dude.

The mean doctor, not the Rock Band dude.

In the morning Zoe realises that this is crazy and she just doesn't fit in with this small town that is so full of Heart and Old Fashioned Values and Community and contacts Mr Handsome the Lawyer so she can "sign over" the practice to the mean doctor. Um, maybe you should discuss the price? The guy seems pretty keen to own the practice so you could probably get a pretty good... Nope, just sign the paper, okay then. Mr Handsome is engaged to Lemon (TWIST!) but he makes it pretty clear that he doesn't like her much. What a cool guy!

Zoe's mum has come to take her back to the city but Zoe gets a call from a lady she met who was fat and who she diagnosed with Being Pregnant. The lady is working at Lemon's and Mr Handsome's engagement party and is having Pains (uh oh) but instead of going to hospital she wants Zoe to come over. Sounds pretty normal, pretty cool. Zoe goes over and delivers a miracle baby that is dry and clean right out of the vagina! Good doctoring. I think there was an episiotomy (don't look it up) but I'm not sure because I had my eyes shut and my fingers jammed in my ears and I was singing.

She tells the nurse she is leaving and the nurse is like oh I guess I should tell you that the doctor who was stalking you was TOTALLY YOUR DAD. Zoe confronts her mother, who admits she got pregnant to him when she was on a cruise and engaged to Zoe's not-dad. Zoe asks why she didn't marry Dr Twinkles. "Was he a psycho? A paedophile?" I guess those are the two main reasons people don't marry each other! Mum explains it was because he's "not our kind of person." Makes sense! Of course this changes everything and Zoe decides to stay in Bluebell and then it turns out her narration has been to her father's grave! Good twist!

Of course there are lots of good cliffhangers to keep us watching. Will Zoe learn to love? Will she learn that Community and Good Old Fashioned Values are more important than high-falutin' coffee and Fancy Book-Learnin'? Will she make out with Mr Handsome? Oh, the questions!

asos curve

2011-10-02T11:10:00.000+08:00

I've bought a couple of pairs of pants and a skirt from Asos Curve and I've been really happy with them. Now I'm looking at summer clothes and since I can't afford everything I want I thought I'd post about them. Blogging therapy instead of retail therapy!

Printed Dress with Pussybow, $90.89

I have to say I am not a huge fan of the term 'pussybow', but I do love the way they look! This is the style of dress that suits me best, an empire line. This looks like a cute work dress and comfy for summer.

Colourblock Dress $74.36

This would do nothing for my figure but I love it anyway! I don't think I'm brave enough to buy it without trying it on, though.

Heart Print Trousers, $41.31

What is wrong with me? I hate high-waisted trousers, I hate printed pants... but these are calling to me. I can't pull this off! Leave me alone, printed pants!

Bow Dress with Empire Line, $66.10

This also comes in a dark purple but I am crazy for orange right now! This is super-cute but I don't know how it would look with my fat tummy. On the other hand who cares.

Tea Dress with Scallop Detail Collar, $49.58

This looks super-cute on the model but I'm not sure where the waist would hit me because I am a shortass. The midi-skirt I bought is almost ankle length on me!

M ustard Skinny Jean, $57.84

I have never bought or even tried on skinny jeans, but these are MUSTARD! Please talk me out of buying them. I think I really want mustard yellow leggings but I am pretty sure there is a gulf of comfort between leggings and skinny jeans.

project runway episode 10

2011-10-01T12:07:00.000+08:00

Things are getting a little Lord of the Flies on Project Runway. People are getting very suspicious and weird! Or maybe that's just the editing and music. But it sure does feel dramatic!

Viktor won twice in a row, but he's feeling the heat. He is worried about his fellow competitors getting nasty, which is pretty ironic. He says that "The tiger will come out" and then rakes the air with his fingernails and makes a noise like a kitten being tickled.

The challenge this week is to produce something for the show's partner Piperlime. The rep for the company has scary eyes. She declares that the Piperlime customer "loves trends." Good advice! The trend they are asked to work on is 'sophisticated 70s.' They head to Mood and Laura immediately chooses the most godawful print I have ever seen. It looks like someone ate peas, lime cordial and broccoli and then threw up on fabric.

Then: DRAMA! The real kind! Anya, who has tucked her money envelope into her bra, somehow manages to lose it. After a frantic search, it is gone for good. Anthony Ryan is the only one with money left over and he gives her $11.50. She buys a little fabric and has to make do with that and muslin (cheap cotton/calico which designers use to make pattern drafts). Anya actually deals pretty well with the whole thing and tries to laugh through her tears, which is a nice change from most reality show contestants. Tim points out that last week Anya was extremely generous to the others and gave them her fabric. You can tell that he wants to sneak her a fifty out of his wallet.

Back in the studio most of the designers are helpful and supportive, offering her bits of their fabric, except Viktor, who helpfully points out to the camera that this is a competition. He is a little bitch.

Anthony Ryan starts talking about Woodstock and hippies, which makes me worry that he might not have a very firm grasp on the seventies.

Someone criticises Laura's puke-fabric, which makes her defensive. "Prints are so subjective!" Oh dear. Bert is referencing Studio 54 and making hot pants, which makes me wonder if he understood the 'sophisticated' part of 'sophisticated 70s.' He mostly covers them up with a spangly print, though, which hides most of his crimes.

Suddenly Tim Gunn announces a twist! They are to make a second, one-piece look as well. They only have $50, which upsets Laura. "I'm not good at not spending money," Laura complains. Laura, I spent a lot of money on a tiny violin to play for you.

Josh chooses an acid-coloured animal print for his one piece. Laura's fabric is no longer the ugliest I have ever seen.

Tim tells Laura that Nina doesn't like her designs and has concerns about her taste. In Laura's retelling, this turns into "Nina hates me and that's why I didn't win the last challenge." She is dumbfounded that anyone could think she lacks taste. "I think my style is sometimes TOO refined!" she exclaims, patting her Barbie-blonde ringlets.

Satisfyingly, all the judges hate Laura's outfit. They especially hate the vomit print, which she has inexplicably paired with black and white chevrons. "Would YOU wear this?" asks Nina. "Yes," answers Laura defiantly. "You would?" Nina says in mock surprise. Her eyebrows add, "That explains a lot."

Bert's Studio 54 outfit is actually pretty okay, although the shorts are obscene. His second outfit is a dress which is quite nice although boring. The Piperlime lady likes it and although he doesn't win, it will be produced and sold. I'm getting ahead of myself, though!

Josh's outfit is absolutely bizarre. He has made enormously unflattering tapered plaid pants and a weird top, which he argues is 'androgynous.'

The fit of the pants at the back is amazing. He has managed to use optical illusion to give the model saddle-bags. It looks like her butt is eating the pants.

He has complemented all of this with matching leopard belt and shoes. Usually I am all like "fuck the rules! Wear whatever you like!" but this is a pretty good argument for never taking any chances ever. The judges rip him apart and his nose flares with rage.

Amazingly, Anya wins! Both her outfits are beautiful, and the fact that she soldiered on with $11.50 worth of fabric impresses the judges. When she is announced, Viktor rolls his eyes and Bert mutters under his breath, "I can't believe it." I can't believe your stupid face, Bert. Shut up.

Anthony Ryan is sent home, which is sad because he seemed quite nice. Josh is also in the bottom. When are they going to cut him loose?!? I guess it will be a sad day for these recaps so maybe I shouldn't complain.

Back in the waiting room, Josh complains about the nature of the challenge, even though a) they were given a dossier of 70s style to work from and b) this has been a trend for at least a year now, even I know about it and you would think that a designer would pick up a magazine every now and then. He complains to the group (all but one of whom are in his age group) that "If this was a challenge I had time to do research on, I would have blown it out of the water!" Then he has a tantrum when someone disputes this.

Fashion!

recent things on the net

2011-09-29T21:23:00.000+08:00

Man I have been pretty busy lately, and I have really neglected my blog! Here is what I have done elsewhere:

Recapped episode 9 of Project Runway!

Recapped the pilot of Unforgettable!

Recapped the pilot of The Secret Circle!

Recapped the pilot of Terra Nova!

Recapped episode 3 of America's Next Top Model!

aaaaaand...

Released episode 3 of my podcast with Luke Milton, The Book Was Better!!!

Whew!

pretty colours

2011-09-26T15:57:00.000+08:00

Just some recent photos: books arranged according to colour in the window of the New Edition bookstore on William St; cables on the floor at work; a Sesame Street record; and a meat pie in pea soup. (It's an Australian thing, and no, I didn't eat it, I just made it for my husband.)

antm s17 e02

2011-09-23T16:15:00.000+08:00

Ugh, I have been really sick all week! My husband has been sick for two weeks so we've been pretty pathetic. First he went deaf and I lost my voice, and now I am deaf too. It's like the worst double act. But I watched ANTM in spite of it all, and I recapped it for your amusement! Please make it worth my while and go check it out.

project runway episode 8

2011-09-17T11:07:00.000+08:00

I recapped the new episode of Project Runway over at Fruitless Pursuits, go check it out!

antm s17 e01

2011-09-15T19:55:00.000+08:00

I recapped the first episode of the new season of America's Next Top Model! Spoiler: It was completely awful.

pilot recap: ringer

2011-09-14T21:07:00.000+08:00

My husband really loves watching pilots. Today he sent me an email saying that he had a new show with Sarah Michelle Gellar playing twins and one of them witnesses a murder and it has Batmanuel in it. I was sold!

We watched it tonight and it was pretty silly, so I recapped it over at Fruitless Pursuits. I'm thinking maybe I'll do recaps for a bunch of different pilots. What do you think?

the boook was better episode 2: the dark knight

2011-09-13T21:14:00.000+08:00

The second episode of our fortnightly podcast The Book Was Better has dropped! In this one Luke Milton and I discuss The Dark Knight Junior Novel. If you like Batman, onomatopoeia, laughing or swearing you'll like this. We're also on iTunes, so subscribe and make sure you never miss an episode!

#beautifulinsideandout week 8

2011-09-13T14:41:00.000+08:00

Image via That's Nerdalicious!

How did I go last week? Well, better than the two weeks before, that's for sure. I didn't manage to stick to my goals, though. My husband was sick and I used that as an excuse to get us lots of comfort foods. However, I'm really feeling like I've had enough of that, and that I want to make real changes.

This week I want to focus on one goal:

Stop eating food I can't digest.

I have known that I am lactose intolerant for several years. About a year ago I found out I am also intolerant of many other foods, including wheat. (My many food intolerances will have to be another blog post-- there's something for you to look forward to!) I went on a very strict elimination diet to find this out, and was vigilant about keeping those foods to a minimum. However, over time, I've become lazy. It's so much easier to grab a roll for lunch and than to look around for a gluten-free alternative. It's so hard to resist biscuits when a coworker brings them in.

But I've come to the point where I really don't feel good. I feel like my body isn't happy, and I need to make changes. So no more wheat, no more cheese (except my beloved vintage cheddar, thank god for aged cheeses) and a lot more cooking.

Drop some crumbs on the curb for me!

illustration: 1966

2011-09-12T17:26:00.001+08:00

Girls in a 1966 Sears catalogue, advertising 'The Urchin Look.' I drew this from an image in one of my favourite sources of inspiration, Everyday Fashions of the Sixties As Pictured in Sears Catalogs (thanks to the lovely Sara for the tip!).

project runway episode 7

2011-09-09T20:37:00.000+08:00

I recapped Project Runway over at Fruitless Pursuits, go check it out! Other recaps may be more informative, more accurate or more incisive, but mine has drawings.

inspiration: alain gree

2011-09-07T15:07:00.000+08:00

I just discovered the amazing French illustrator Alain Grée via the delightful Draw, Pilgrim! Vintage children's illustration (1950s-70s) is my favourite art form and a huge source of inspiration for me.

Image from glenmullaly @ Flickr

Grée was born in Paris in 1936 and is still alive and working today! He has published over 300 books, mostly in the 60s and 70s.

Image from Linzie Hunter @ Flickr

Grée's work combines a naivety of shape with a bold colour palette that makes me feel so happy.

Image from samsmyth @ Flickr

There's a 50-year anniversary book (with stickers!) but I've only been able to find it on Amazon France. I may have to make an order!

Image by Jane Foster

Who are your favourite illustrators? I have so many, I might have to make this a series!

little things

2011-09-06T12:06:00.002+08:00

Powwow by Gene Davis, 1969

I am less than a month away from turning Very Old, and one of the few advantages to advanced age is knowing all the secrets of life. So I'm about to drop some piping-hot wisdom on you suckers:

The secret of being happy is to recognise your happiness.

Being generally happy in your life is not about the moments of joy or ecstasy or excitement, it's about recognising that quiet satisfaction, fulfillment and peace are the elements of day-to-day happiness.

I've been thinking about this lately, and realising that my moments of happiness are mostly supremely dorky. But without them, my life would be a grey canvas with occasional riotous splodges of colour; with them, it's a textured map of different shades. Day to day life isn't about birthdays and holidays and making out, it's about getting on the bus and having coffee and making spreadsheets. So the secret to a happy life is to recognise the things in your daily routine that bring you tiny joy.

Like I said, my list is pretty dorky:

Putting a new desktop picture on my computer
Hearing the French girl at the coffee cart call me 'honey' in her adorable accent
When my public transport card gets low and then automatically updates up to $50 (no idea why this makes me feel so satisfied)
Arranging my bottles of nail polish before choosing a colour
A freshly cleaned-out handbag free of receipts and lolly wrappers
Turning over the calendar to a new month and seeing a new Matthew Scott illustration
Cleaning up my work desk so that all the papers are in piles, notebooks stacked and pens in penholders
Seeing a new window display at the bookshop on my walk from the bus stop
Getting home and putting on my comfy pants to signal that I am chillaxing now
Getting home and putting on my pyjamas because I am chillaxing too hard even for comfy pants, I am chillaxing SO FUCKING HARD RIGHT NOW
Making a list

What are the stupid things that make you happy?

#beautifulinsideandout week 7

2011-09-05T14:32:00.000+08:00

Image from Cutest Food

Ha ha, what happened to week 6? Don't ask!

Work has been crazy lately. I'm in a new role, and we have been working on a very large and complex project. I was out of the office and on my feet every day, and exhausted and stressed out every night. All my good habits went out the window and I drank too much coffee, ate out too much, ate fast food and comfort food.

But now I am back in the office (so I can easily record my calories), and much less stressed (so I can get back to being healthy.

Here are my goals for my New Start:

Exercise four times a week for at least 30 minutes
Record calories eaten
Eat home-cooked meals 5 days a week
No deep-fried foods

My inspiration this week is Dempeaux's post on eating and living healthy. Today I ate a salad and a yoghurt for lunch! We can do this thing!

street style: miss l

2011-09-04T19:55:00.000+08:00

Today's street style is courtesy of Miss L, another adorable friend of mine who agreed to let me take photos of her outfit. I am obsessed with her shoes and have been looking for fringed boots everywhere! Sadly they were bought in Europe a few years ago. At least that's what she tells me.

I love Miss L's style because she's never concerned about what's in fashion or what other people will think is sexy or cool. She dresses for herself and I love it.

projecg runway recap s09 e06

2011-09-04T11:17:00.000+08:00

I recapped episode 6 of Project Runway over at Fruitless Pursuits! If you'd like to see some drawings which probably bear little relation to the actual fashions because they are drawn from memory, go check it out!

oh no i have a podcast

2011-08-30T19:32:00.000+08:00

I have a podcast you guys!

I'm getting sleepy so here is the lowdown I just wrote for the blog:

Do you like to read? Do you like to watch movies? Well, get ready for both things to be ruined by The Book Was Better!

You see, there are these books called novelizations. They're 'the book of the movie', those cheap, shoddy things you see sitting on op-shop shelves, unloved and abandoned. And for good reason! Most of the time, they turnout to be either unreadable or insane. Or both!

That's why Jessica McLeod and Luke Milton are reading them for you, and picking out the best bits. Get ready for hamfisted dialogue, clunky exposition, nonsensical metaphors and confusing action. Every second Tuesday, we'll be bringing you all this as well as our unnecessarily complicated theories about these books and their authors.

Let's ~~go to the movies~~ ~~read a book~~ listen to a podcast!!!

I really hope you like it! If you're here for the eyeshadow talk then it might not be your cup of tea, but if you share my sense of humour then you might give it a go.

Eek!

project runway recap, ep 5

2011-08-28T19:26:00.000+08:00

I recapped episode 5 of Project Runway at Fruitless Pursuits! Gosh I love drawing Tim Gunn. Look at his cute little pocket square! <3

street style: lily

2011-08-26T17:47:00.000+08:00

This is the clever and beautiful Lily! I guess it's not so much a street style as a lounge room style, but I'm not quite brave enough to ask strangers yet. Lily has a sewing and fashion blog The House of Mirth which she has recently revived and it's definitely worth checking out! She is pictured here against her awesome vintage wallpaper, with her mid-century modern side table. This girl has serious style.

street style: lady at the bus stop

2011-08-23T21:10:00.000+08:00

I was going to draw what I wore today, but an elderly lady I saw at the bus stop on the way home was way too stylish for me not to draw!

This lady was on top of all the current fashion trends:

    •    Bright colours
    •    Colour blocking
    •    Fake fur
    •    Socks with open shoes

She also had a purple belt, not shown. I wanted to ask her if I could take her photo but I thought it might be difficult to explain blogging and street style and why a total stranger was asking to take a photo of her outfit, and I was worried that she might think I was making fun of her. I am so completely serious when I say that she looked awesome, and I hope I dress in such an exciting and fun way when I am her age!
I had so much fun drawing her that I even made up a Polyvore set of her clothes (substituting a headband for her cheery orange hair):

project runway recaps

2011-08-23T16:12:00.000+08:00

In case you missed it, I recapped episode 4 of Project Runway over at Fruitless Pursuits! It includes a bunch of silly drawings, including the glamorous self-portrait above.

#beautifulinsideandout week 5

2011-08-22T19:15:00.000+08:00

Image from cutefoodforkids via Cutest Food

So... you may have noticed that I skipped a week. Oops! The truth is that the last few weeks have been really stressful (huge project at work, tension leading to a four-day headache and now twice-weekly physiotherapy, etc) and I've really let things slide.

At the moment I'm just not set up to keep entering everything I eat at Calorie King, because I'm on my feet all day and not at my desk. So I'm scaling back a bit on my goals. Here are my goals for week 5:

Exercise three times a week for at least 30 minutes
Cut out lollies and sugary drinks
Eat home-cooked meals 4 days a week
No deep-fried foods

Hopefully I can scale back a bit, get back into the exercising habit, and be more careful about what I'm eating.

project runway recap, ep 3

2011-08-12T20:27:00.000+08:00

I did another Project Runway recap at Fruitless Pursuits, and I drew a sweet new logo for the series! Please check it out even if you don't watch the show-- it's just a silly thing and it's hopefully funny. And it has stupid drawings!

#beautifulinsideandout week 3

2011-08-09T20:00:00.000+08:00

image via Cutest Food

My goals for last week were:

Exercise three times a week for at least 30 minutes
Record calories eaten
Cut out lollies and sugary drinks

How did I do?

Pretty good!

I exercised five times (Pilates for an hour, dancing for 90 minutes, and walking for 30 minutes three times)! It felt great to get moving more, and I am definitely feeling fitter.

I recorded my calories every day except Saturday. I've found it easy to keep track on weekday because I'm at my desk all day, but I try to stay off the computer on the weekends. I need to make an effort on weekends, though, because that's when the tempting food is around!

I stayed away from lollies by chewing sugarless gum after every meal-- I find that it really takes the craving away. It was pretty painless to cut out soft drinks.

Grade: A

This week I'm updating my goals:

Exercise four times a week for at least 30 minutes
Record calories eaten
Cut out lollies and sugary drinks
Eat home-cooked meals 5 days a week
No deep-fried foods

We've been eating out way too much lately, which is expensive and can be unhealthy (or at the least calorie-dense). I put home-cooked to include visiting family. Cutting out deep-fried foods is a no-brainer: I have to stay away from chips! And I'm increasing my exercise amount to 4 times a week.

project runway recap!

2011-08-06T09:57:00.000+08:00

I posted a silly recap of Project Runway: Season 9, Episode 2 at the neat new site Fruitless Pursuits. The site is a group blog about pop culture and general nerdery, so go check it out!

my favourite korean and japanese make-up names

2011-08-04T15:54:00.000+08:00

Dear Darling Tint Gloss

Lovely Cookie Blusher

Kissful Lip Care

Peach Beam Blusher

Fairy Drops Mascara

Skin Food Choco Eye Line Jam

Happy Tea Cleansing Foam

Essential Donut Glo-Stick

Dolly Wink Eyeliner

Lip & Eye Remover

#beautifulinsideandout week 2

2011-08-02T09:17:00.001+08:00

Ha ha, the fact that I am posting my Motivation Monday post on Tuesday is a good indicator of how I am doing!

My goals for last week were:

Exercise three times a week for at least 30 minutes
Record calories eaten

How did I do?

Um... OK. I recorded my calories each day that I was at a computer, using Calorie King (which I highly recommend for Australians). It did help me make better choices, and I learned that some things I assumed were healthy were actually far too large for one meal. I didn't manage to do it every day, though, so I'll make more of an effort this week.

I exercised twice: Pilates for an hour on Wednesday and walking for 40 minutes on Friday. I was having a really stressful day on Wednesday and doing Pilates at lunch was fantastic: everything melted away and I completely relaxed. Work is very intense at the moment so I really need to step up the exercise to combat this.

Grade: C-

This week I am going to try to meet those goals, and am adding another goal:

Cut out lollies and sugary drinks

I am a bit addicted to sugar. I've wanted to wean myself off for a while now, and I just found out via Dempeaux that eating sugar damages collagen in the skin, so that's an extra motivation. I'm not trying to cut it out altogether, just the extra sugar I consume in lollies and the occasional soft drink.

face it cosmetics: a follow up

2011-07-26T15:49:00.000+08:00

Like most normal people, I don't enjoy confrontations and negativity. I thought hard before I posted my review of Face It Cosmetics, and before I left negative feedback on Etsy. I would normally leave it there, but my experience with Heather and FIC has been so unpleasant that I feel the need to write about it again.

As you may remember from my review (you can go here to read it before you carry on) I found that the products I purchased were of middling to poor quality. As well as that, one of the products (Sparrow eyeshadow) was very different to the product photo, and one (gold gel eyeliner) was misrepresented by its name and description.

I wrote my review, and left the following feedback:

Now, let me make this clear: I take feedback very seriously. There have been a couple of occasions on which the wrong item was accidentally sent, or an item had gone bad during travel. I contacted the seller and allowed them to rectify the problem, and then gave good feedback.

However, the Face It Cosmetics order wasn't a mistake. These were sub-par products, and some of them were actually misleading. I left 2 negative feedback reviews and one neutral feedback review as a service to my fellow Etsy buyers, who deserve an honest review. Buying make-up over the net is risky, and I personally rely on reviews to help me decide what to buy. I feel that not posting honest feedback would have been unethical.

After I posted my feedback, I received a message from Heather:

I was a surprised by her tone and felt uncomfortable, but tried to respond in a respectful but honest way.

She responded:

Now I was really unimpressed. It is very unprofessional to a) take a customer to task for being honest about your products and b) ignore the actual criticism and instead make up excuses unrelated to the actual problems. Once again, I tried to answer politely and explain my position:

She did not respond to this email. I assumed this was the end of the matter, until I saw that my feedback rating on Etsy had dropped from 100% positive to 98%. Heather had left me negative feedback (even giving me three negative reviews when I had given her two negative and one neutral):

I was flabbergasted. As a buyer, my responsibility is to a) pay promptly and b) leave honest feedback. I am not obligated to contact a seller before I leave feedback, although Etsy suggests that buyers should do this (and under other circumstances, I do).

I am particularly disgusted by the note that "If she was unsure of the color then you [sic] should have asked." It is in no way my responsibility to contact a seller to ask if her product photo is accurate! In fact, here is feedback from another unhappy buyer:

(Indeed, there is a growing number of negative comments on the FIC feedback page, although sadly some people are leaving neutral feedback although they have had a very negative experience.) This buyer mentions the very same product (Sparrow eyeshadow) which I had a problem with. And if that wasn't damning enough, Heather has changed the product photo.

Before:

Now:

I don't think that my long, carefully thought-out messages to Heather can be called "poor communication." What she means is, "I tried to get her to change her feedback by offering her free products, and she refused, so I am giving her back feedback out of spite."

Normally I wouldn't care less about this, but I have an Etsy store. And now customers of my store will see a lower feedback score.

This experience has made me wary of buying from indie companies. From now on, I will be sticking to companies for whom I have read good reviews, like Linnaeus or Shiro, rather than trying out new ones. And it has definitely made me wary of Heartsy. (Speaking of which, Face It Cosmetics just had a second Heartsy sale, about a month after the first one. I have no idea why this would be a good move for a business.)

Ah well. I've learnt my lesson!

#beautifulinsideandout

2011-07-25T11:35:00.000+08:00

Michelle of Eat Paint Sniff Glue and Kirsten of Commander in Chic have started #beautifulinsideandout, a way for them (and anyone else who wants to join in) to start taking better care of themselves. In Michelle's words:

To keep the focus on positive lifestyle changes, and to make the task less daunting, we’ve made an executive decision not to focus on our current weight, but instead on achieving small, weekly goals. There will be no tweeting of current weight (unless you're brave and really want to), only diet and fitness goals, and of course our weekly results.

Our goals are to be tweeted on Mondays with the hashtag: #MotivationMondays

Our results tweeted on Sundays with the hashtag: #SexySundays

The bridging hashtag, cleverly thought up by Kirsten, shall be #beautifulinsideandout. This tag will help tie the two together, making the whole thread available under the one search. This third hashtag will be our main one, and will serve as a device for general, related chitchat.

I think this is a lovely idea. Focusing on specific goals instead of results ("lose 10kg") or vague intentions ("eat better") is much more likely to help build better habits. There are several things I need to change, and doing anything with the support of a group is easier.

I don't know how much I'll be using Twitter for this, but I'll blog about my progress. Since I tend to make grand plans, fail and then immediately return to bad habits, I'm focusing on small, cumulative goals. This week, my goals are:

Exercise three times a week for at least 30 minutes
Record calories eaten

That's it. I'm not going to make a huge effort to restrict my calories (although I find that to a certain point that happens naturally when I take notice of exactly what I'm eating). I have a weekly Pilates class and a weekly dance session, so I just need to exercise once more this week.

Small changes are easier to make than big ones, and they add up.

nails: black cherry

2011-07-20T11:40:00.000+08:00

This is Rimmel I ♥ Lasting Finish in Black Cherry. The name is perfect: it's a lovely dark reddy-purple. I've shied away from very dark colours before because they can look cheap and trashy. Not that that's always a bad thing: I spent much of my teenage years trying to look cheap and trashy. But I'm too old for chipped black nailpolish now, I think. Very dark colours really need to be worn carefully to look elegant.

It isn't quite as nice to apply as the other Rimmel polishes I've tried; I don't know if that's because of the dark colour or the fact that it's Rimmel's cheapest line, but the polish is very thick and you need to wait a long time between coats to make sure it doesn't go gooey. Still, I wore this colour twice in a row, which I almost never do.

Note: this was taken in the late afternoon on a winter's day in June. I guess sometimes living in Perth isn't all bad.

crazyjuice

2011-07-20T11:27:00.000+08:00

This is Super Nudie Breakfast Juice, which I bought because a) look at it! and b) it has chia seeds, which I've wanted to try ever since I read Born to Run. This juice tastes as weird as it looks! It has lots of cinnamon, some apple and banana, as well as the seeds. The mouthfeel is kind of slimy, in that way that banana always is, and I had to drink it really slowly because my OCD tendencies forced me to stop and crunch as many of the little seeds as possible instead of just swallowing them. It was pretty nice though!

In conclusion: I don't know why I took a photo of my juice and blogged about it. Thank you for your time!

i love packages!

2011-07-15T17:14:00.000+08:00

A couple of weeks ago I received an email from Kit Cosmetics telling me I'd won two products from the Perricone Super range by entering a review on their site. They arrived today!

I got the Sweet Clean Face and Eye Cleanser and the Hyper Hydrator Daily Moisturiser. I have tried both (they were used on me during my 'quickie facial') and they are both lovely products which smell AMAZING (berries and coconut respectively). I would never have bought these ($45 and $63!) but I sure do like getting them as a gift. They both come in lovely frosted glass bottles and they feel expensive.

Also in the post today: magnetised freedom palettes for pressed eyeshadow! I'll post more about these when I get all the rest of the stuff I need and start pressing colours, but I am really happy with these. They're lovely! I bought them from here on Dempeaux's suggestion. The top two are mine and the bottom one is Suzanne's!

nails: grurple

2011-07-15T10:35:00.000+08:00

After seeing Michelle of Eat Paint Sniff Glue rave about Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure in 370: Commander in Chic in her Monday Manicure post, I had to try it! It's a really hard colour to describe: the closest I can come is a grey-mauve, which my husband dubbed "grurple."

It's kind of silly but the thing I really like about this colour is that it contains all colours and shades. It's got blue and red to make the purple; yellow to muddy it and add a little brown; and black and white for the grey. It looks a bit like a paint palette when you mix everything together before you wash it (not because you need to, just because it's fun).

The application was okay but not amazing, which was surprising; I thought that since Sally Hansen products are synonymous with nails it would be the best application ever, but it was a little more slow-drying than my beloved Rimmel polishes. Still miles better than cheapo brands, but for $16 (as opposed to Rimmel for less than $10) I was expecting a miracle.

I'll definitely be reapplying it, though. It's a lovely soft, chic colour for winter. Grurple!

review: face it cosmetics

2011-07-13T14:09:00.000+08:00

This was my second Heartsy order (my first still has not arrived, and you had better believe I have a head of steam building up for a blog post about that). Face It Cosmetics are an Etsy store located in the US. This is their shop description:

Face It Cosmetics are fabulous healthy products that will help you put your best face forward no matter what life throws at you…FACE IT. Our Cosmetics will make you feel beautiful inside and out. All of our products contain a minimum number of ingredients (mostly natural ones) but still promise amazing products that really perform. The result is a professional product that is synthetic free. Makeup collections are perfectly pigmented products for eyes, lips, and face that are gentle and pure enough to use on all skin types. Indulge in something that is good for your skin and good for the environment.

I ordered five products: four eyeshadows and an eyeliner.

They arrived in a padded envelope: no note, no business card, no invoice, no samples. Here is where I think Face It made a big mistake. As I mentioned in my Heartsy post, this discount process only really works for a business if they manage to convert buyers into returning customers (which of course is what every business should be doing). For example, I recently bought some samples from Shiro Cosmetics (not through Heartsy). Even though I had only bought a bunch of samples, Caitlin included a business card, an invoice with a personal written note, two free samples, and two little Japanese candies. The whole lot was beautifully wrapped in a little gift bag inside the envelope. Now, I don't fault anyone for not adding more than I've paid for. However, what Caitlin managed to do was to turn opening that envelope into a fun, exciting, pleasurable experience. Even before I had tried the product, I was happy. As a result of that (and also the great quality of her product), I'm already planning my next purchase, and perhaps more importantly, I've been telling others about her.

Anyway, this is not a review of Shiro (although I will do one of those eventually). My point is that, perhaps because of the increased pressure that the Heartsy orders put them under, they did not manage to impress me with the package.

I swatched these onto my hand and was immediately disappointed. From the Etsy photos and descriptions, I had thought I was buying four very different colours; I had ended up with a white and three greys.

Photos taken outside, but not in direct light; I did no manipulation of the image. Colours were applied over Australis Eyeshadow Primer. (If you'd like to see a frighteningly large version of this photo, go here. Warning: it is freaky, and my apparently smooth arm skin is actually origami.)

All four colours had a LOT of fallout, as you can see in the photo, and were quite sheer-- I had to carefully dab them on to get them to look this pigmented.

First of all, I have no idea what possessed me to buy white eyeshadow, but Billowy Clouds was crazy with the fallout and very sheer. Sparrow was the biggest disappointment, because the product picture looks like this:

I was expecting the shadow to have a similar blue-pink colourshift effect, but all I can see is silver.

Sterling looks pretty much like the Etsy photo I guess, although poorly pigmented. Toasted Walnut is probably the prettiest of the colours, and I have worn it a couple of times, but it's not the intense party colour shown in the product photo, more of a work-safe colour.

The other big disappointment was the Gold Gel Eyeliner.

This is not a colour that I would describe as 'gold'. I imagined something akin to gold leaf; this is really more of a flat light tan or beige colour, with little to no shimmer. It's also not a gel by any stretch of the imagination, definitely a cream. The first stripe in the photo is with an eyeliner brush, the second a swatch with my finger.

So, I've left my first ever negative Etsy feedback. I felt pretty uncomfortable doing this; there is such a supportive tea-and-hugs ethos to Etsy, and bad feedback is taken very seriously. But I was disappointed in the product, and it wasn't due to an accident, it was due to poor product. While Suzanne has had some success with FIC's facial products, I will not be ordering from them again.

heartsy: some thoughts

2011-07-11T14:44:00.000+08:00

Heartsy is a business that sells members coupons for indie and handmade internet businesses, like a Groupon or Jump On It for the Etsy crowd. I joined Heartsy about 5 weeks ago, and I’ve made three purchases through them. I have mixed feelings about Heartsy, and I wanted to share them before I review one of these purchases.

First of all, as an Etsy seller, I would never use Heartsy. My profit margin is very slim, and I sell comics and badges—not things that buyers have to constantly renew. I also think that one of the major problems that hand-made and small-batch sellers have is making the public realise that they cannot sell their products for the same price as mass-produced products. Heartsy does encourage the lowering of prices and an increased expectation of “more for less” in the consumer, which could lead to a devaluing of the handmade market.

However, I do think Heartsy is a good thing for a particular kind of seller: one with a high-quality consumable product (ie food, perfume, make-up) who wants to entice new customers into trying their wares and becoming regular customers. So far I have only used Heartsy to buy body products, and I am buying as someone who is interested in becoming a regular customer. But we won’t know the effect Heartsy is having for some time; as I have seen others point out, when a Heartsy buyer runs out of lotion/make-up/stationery, they may not come back to you but to whichever other shop has 60% off that week.

So far, only one of my purchases has arrived and I wasn’t too impressed. (A review is forthcoming.) Another was purchased over a month ago and was only just shipped (I won’t tell you who because I’m planning to bare all in the review) and the third was only purchased last night. It definitely hasn’t stopped me from buying from indie business who don’t offer discounts—in the end, I’m more interested in high quality and intriguing products than cheap prices.

Have you used Heartsy? What do you think about it?

Full disclosure: If you want to join Heartsy and follow my links, I will get $5 credit.

nails: teal

2011-07-07T19:00:00.000+08:00

This is one of my favourite shades, Rimmel 60 Seconds in Sky High. This isn't a great light (winter makes blog photography difficult!) but it's a perfect teal: it looks blue against green and green against blue. A beautiful and suprisingly wearable colour. I bought it because it looked so pretty on my friend Liz, who was also the person who recommended Rimmel polish.

And let me pass on the recommendation to you! Rimmel is absolutely the best nailpolish brand I have used. It goes on thick and nearly-opaque (I never need more than two coats) and wears well. (The photo above is after several days' wear). They're really cheap, too: 60 Seconds is around AUD $8 in Priceline (and there's a 2 for $10 sale on now).

Note: Rimmel didn't pay me any money to say nice things about their nailpolish, although I wish they would.

maybe for my prairie lunatic look?

2011-07-05T16:04:00.000+08:00

Are you interested in a blush that makes you look insane?

Here you go!

supanova perth 2011

2011-07-03T10:22:00.000+08:00

Last weekend (god, was it only last weekend?) I sold my comics, badges and other paraphernalia at Supanova Perth with Luke, Suzanne and my husband Robert (Grug). It was a fantastic turnout, and they've had to expand the floorspace considerably. We had the best sales in our history, and had an amazing time meeting fans and friends. And of course, I took photos!

There were so many adorable kids in costumes!

We always let the kids we photograph choose a free badge.

I always love seeing the Lolita-style fashions at Supanova. This girl was my favourite, everything about her style was lovely!

There was so many great costumes, from the quirky...

to the original...

to the spectacular.

There are more photos in my Flickr set, check it out if you like baby Batmans!*

*This is a trick, everybody likes baby Batmans.

monster

2011-06-19T17:15:00.000+08:00

Hey, didn't this blog used to be about making stuff?

This Christmas (yes, I know, it's only six months ago, jeez) I decided to make a plush toy for my first ever nephew, Oscar. I wanted to make something colourful and fun but soft and safe.

The original sketch. I wanted something simple and huggable (and easy to sew).

I made a simple template with paper and used super-soft 'minky' fabrics and felt.

"I wonder if I can pull these off and choke on them?"

TOO CUTE.

nails: light blue

2011-06-16T20:54:00.000+08:00

This is Scene Queen from Chi Chi. I thought I'd give this cheap and cheerful brand a go when I saw it in Myer, but it's absolutely crap. The colour is cute but the application was a nightmare. It went on chalky and streaky, and although I left it to dry for nearly half an hour between coats it still ended up with a horrible finish. I would never buy anything from this brand again, and will probably never use this bottle again. I hate you, Chi Chi!

A much more successful buy was this pair of tights, also from Myer (department store sales = excellent time to buy hosiery). They're Jonathon Aston Luxury tights in Lipstick Pink. This photo doesn't even do justice to their brightness-- today was cloudy and gloomy and my legs seemed to be glowing. I heartily recommend Jonathon Aston, especially for chubby girls-- they actually make a larger size that is comfortable and come in lots of fun colours. I'm glad I bought two pairs!

I AM CHAMPION

2011-06-15T21:00:00.000+08:00

Someone found my site by searching for "greatest championship hats of all time".

THAT IS ALL

boooooooooots

2011-06-15T16:28:00.000+08:00

I found my cowboy boots! After searching without success for ankle-high flat-heeled cowboy boots, I came across these Blowfish Tulsa boots on asos.com. I remembered my friend Liz buying a pair of Blowfish boots so after consultation I took the plunge (they were on sale for $60 so I couldn't resist). I am a size 8 and ordered UK size 7 (which, as it turns out, I need to wear thick socks with, so I could probably go down to 6).

These boots are SO COMFY. I have actually been wearing them around the house on cold days, and I rarely wear shoes indoors. The soles feel like they have gel insoles. And they're still $60 with no shipping!

Now all I need is a shapeless, floral-printed dress and a long brown wig and I can unleash my Prairie Lunatic look on the streets!

nails: gold

2011-06-14T19:07:00.000+08:00

I recently started painting my nails, and it made me really happy. So I thought I would take photos and share them here, for some reason.

This is a Revlon polish in 'Gold Get 'Em', a seriously terrible name but I guess in this stage of human history they have used up all the good names. I picked this up in the Myer sale for $3.45. It's a really lovely, subdued shade of gold, if you can imagine such a thing. I had to load on three coats to get it opaque, and it would also look pretty and soft with one or two coats. It's my first Revlon polish (as recommended by Suzanne) and I really liked it. It went on easy and dried quickly. It didn't last as long as my favourite, Rimmel, but it was about 5 days before it started to chip at the top edge. It actually made me realise how yellow my skin is, because at a certain angle it looked like a nude shade. Anyway, high marks and one of my favourite shades so far.

oh nurse

2011-06-10T10:09:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I was getting a vaccination and I had to lift my shirt up.

Nurse: Oh, that's a nice bra!
Me: Um, thanks! It's really comfortable.
Nurse: My husband likes me to wear sexy bras, but I'd rather wear something like that!

Then she stuck a needle in my arm.

what is... blog?

2011-06-10T09:14:00.000+08:00

After an enthusiastic burst of blogging, I've been silent here. The reason is that I've been thinking about what I want this blog to be. Well, the reason is 75% laziness but 20% wondering, and 5% forgetfulness.

I started this as a craft blog, when crafting was my #1 obsession. I still craft, and read craft blogs, but there's lots more stuff I want to talk about.

I worry, though, that what I want to talk about isn't what you want to read about. If you came here to read about sewing, are you interested in my humour? If you came here because you read my comics, are you going to be annoyed if I post about nailpolish or perfume?

I guess the question comes down to why I have a blog. Is it to gain lots of readers and receive revenue/free presents/friends/love? Well, probably not, since I leave it sitting here alone for weeks at a time. I'm a busy lady and most of my free time is spent making comics and other things. So maybe this blog should be where I write about anything I like, and if you like reading it, you can come along.

Tell me: what would you like me to write about? Or should I just write about whatever I like?

my article is as astounding!

2011-05-30T15:47:00.000+08:00

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Wow, that's really nice! Clarity is something I really strive for in my publish, and I love to be assumed an expert (even if it's in bad 80s sewing patterns). Dear reviewer, you are welcome to snatch my RSS feed! I'm not sure what you meant with your auto insurance comment, but I'm assuming it's complimentary.

Thanks one million!

whuuuuut

2011-03-22T11:47:00.000+08:00

Etsy search "vintage sewing pattern collar" brought this up and it filled me with awe. Who designed this? WHO BOUGHT THIS PATTERN, BOUGHT IT, MADE THE COLLARS AND WORE THEM? Imagine walking down the street and seeing someone with one of these collars on. Your reaction would probably be to a) look for their minder and b) avoid eye contact.

I think they cut the photos off at the nose because the model kept rolling her eyes. Still, even just her lips tell the thoughts going through her head:

B: "Okay, this is a little silly, but it's wearable, I guess."
C: "Wait, what?
D: "Oh, come on."
A: "I'm just going to pretend this isn't happening."
E: "I hate you."

The collar/dress combo is just perfect, too. Nothing says elegant and attractive like a shapeless dress to go with your enormous novelty collar!

Please go buy this pattern, make it and send me a photo of you wearing it in a public place.

P.S. The seller also has awesome patterns like this and this. I ain't hatin'!

being a girl

2011-03-18T13:49:00.000+08:00

I am so easily influenced. Since Suzanne (blogger and Sexy Librarian) has been blogging about beauty products, I have been thinking more about make-up and skincare and all the other Lady Stuff I have mostly ignored throughout my adult life. Lucky she isn't blogging about how to firebomb French restaurants! (Although since her message seems to be "buy yourself presents and look pretty" I guess it's easy to allow myself to be persuaded.)

Anyway, I've been thinking about how much nicer and healthier I look when my lips are nearly chapped. Not when they actually get to the chapped stage, but when they're all red and rosy. I hate the feeling of lipstick, all greasy and thick, and I really don't want something coming off on my coffee cup/water bottle/husband. So I asked Suzanne whether there was anything that would feel like nothing but would make me look like I'd been eating red lollies.

She told me about a magical thing called lip stains. I've been looking at various products in make-up shops (man, I never noticed all these make-up shops around! They're everywhere!) but I didn't see anything that fit.

Today I went into a very cute store called Kit in Enex100 and found this magic stuff (pictured above). I know, it looks insanely dark and purple, but a little bit makes you look like you've been eating mulberries: just a subtle stain. (I can't imagine putting it on my cheeks though, what the hell?) It was $22, which seems like an inordinate amount of money for a little tube of coloured goo but it should last for ages because a) I only used a tiny bit and b) I will probably keep forgetting to put it on and lose interest in being a Fancy Lady and get excited about hula-hooping or something.

The girl in the shop was very sweet and insisted on painting it onto my lips with a teeny tiny brush while I perched on a teeny tiny chair. She was horrified when I told her that I didn't even own foundation and tried to get me to sign up for a make-up lesson. I said I'd think about it, but I probably won't. What if she makes me look so beautiful I have to buy hundreds of dollars worth of stuff and spend half an hour every day painting it on? That's money I could be spending on books! And time I could be spending on naps! And books!

Are you a Fancy Lady? Can you give me any tips?

prairie lunatic

2011-03-17T22:13:00.001+08:00

In case you're wondering what my Prairie Lunatic chic is going to look like, I drew a picture.

want

2011-03-17T14:04:00.000+08:00

Yesterday while waiting for the bus I saw a lady wearing something I have never seen before: cowboy boots, but tiny! Ankle boots, but cowboy! MINI COWBOY BOOTS.

Nicole Passionate

South Juliet

This may be old news to you, but it's a revelation to me. I want to go boots shopping RIGHT NOW! I am so ready for autumn, even though it's still around 30 C (86 F) in Perth. Luckily I am broke, so no boots for me (YET).

I read a bunch of webpages about ankle boots, because I have never owned any, and they all said that if you're short and fat you should stay away from them. But I really want these boots, and who cares anyway. I will be a little fat cowboy in my little fat boots, and I will be happy.

Anyway this is making me want to dress in long, shapeless dresses and dusty boots and long hair and a faraway look in my eyes. I call this look Prairie Lunatic:

P.S. If you are a disco star, you can get the Nicoles in silver and invent Space Prairie Cowboy Lunatic Chic! Please do this so I don't have to.

octowreath!

2010-11-29T15:48:00.000+08:00

Okay, forget everything I said about hating Christmas crafts.

This Octowreath (made by the amazing Hine Mizushima for the Luv-able + Hug-able (+ Wearable!) show) has changed my mind. You can make me any Christmas craft you like, as long as it has tentacles. (Or serpents.)

Hine also photographed a squid in the very act of creating holiday crafts:

Everything about this image is wonderful to me; I love the way it looks like it's been taken from a craft magazine circa 1975! And I am desperate for that teeny-tiny sewing basket...

You can see more of her wonderful work at her blog and buy things from her at her Etsy shop!

the grinch of craft

2010-11-24T09:22:00.000+08:00

Image: Three girls making a "sandman" at the beach, by Ozzie Sweet. State Library and Archives of Florida, 1964.

I have a confession to make: I hate Christmas craft.

I was at Spotlight (a large craft chain store) the other day, and there were pile and piles of (mostly very ugly) Christmas fabric. And women were snapping it up! What the hell are they making with all this fabric? Tablecloths? Wall hangings? I am honestly unable to fathom what all that fabric is going to make. And why are they spending all this time and money making something that will sit in the cupboard for 11 months of the year?

Then there's all the snowmen and Santa Clauses and elves and snowflakes to make, to sit on the mantlepiece or the dinner table and then take up more storage space for the rest of the year. Why are they bothering?

Perhaps the reason that none of this stuff resonates with me is because it's all geared towards the Northern hemisphere. Snowflakes, reindeer, holly, candles, sleighs and fir trees don't have much relevance to an Australian Christmas. The other source of imagery is Christianity, and I'm not a Christian.

I'm not saying that I scowl every time I see a Christmas tree. In fact, we have a tradition of watching Christmas movies all through December, and I put out my little Christmas decorations. I love Christmas! I just don't understand why you would want to spend your precious crafting time making things that have such limited use and limited relevance.

the pledge

2010-11-19T09:06:00.000+08:00

I, Jessica McLeod, pledge that I shall abstain from the purchase of "new" manufactured items of clothing, for the period of 2 months. I pledge that I shall refashion, renovate, recycle preloved items for myself with my own hands in fabric, yarn or other medium for the term of my contract. I pledge that I will share the love and post a photo of my refashioned, renovoted, recycled, crafted or created item of clothing on my blog, so that others may share the joy that my thriftiness brings! Signed, Jessica McLeod.

OK, so the Wardrobe Refashion project closed up this month. The blog is no longer active and they are not accepting new sign-ups. Well guess what, Wardrobe Refashion? I DON'T CARE! I'm signing up and you can't stop me! You think you can keep me out of your club?!? NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORNER!

Ahem.

I could probably have signed up for this two months ago, because I don't think I've bought anything in that time. In fact about two months ago I actually tried to spend a day buying summer work clothes and failed to buy anything at all. All the fashions in the shops (that is, the shops that I can afford and which carry my size) at the moment are very unattractive to me. Ugly florals, 90s prints, cheap lace, jumpsuits(?!): I would rather cut a hole out of a bedsheet and wear it like a poncho than spend money on those monstrosities. (Note to self: cut hole in bedsheet and wear like poncho for maximum comfort.)

There are many reasons why I want to stop buying clothes and make my own.

Cheap clothing comes at a price: environmental and social. While I don't really indulge in "fast fashion" anymore-- when I buy something, I keep it for a long time-- the clothes I can afford to buy are almost certainly not being made in an ethical or sustainable way.
It's not often that my tastes coincide with what's currently fashionable. I love Peter Pan collars, empire waists, 40s prints, wide pants and vintage buttons, and the only way I can get those looks is to make my clothes myself.
Most of the clothes I see in the shops which I actually like, don't come in a size that fits me. Fashion labels generally don't make above a size 12; as a size 16-18, I have to really search to find something that's not apparently designed for middle-aged women with a taste for bright abstract florals and the desire to completely shroud their bodies in synthetic fabric.
Even when something comes in my size, it could always fit better. Mass-produced clothes have to fit the maximum of shapes, so if something fits my large bust, it's too big everywhere else; if it fits at the waist, I'm busting out on top.

There are others, but that's enough to be going on with.

Wish me luck!

sewing a skirt

2010-04-30T10:54:00.001+08:00

I'm not going to feel bad and apologise for neglecting this blog because that is how life goes. It is 2010 and everyone is neglecting their blog. I am a busy lady! But lately, even though I have been busier than ever (or perhaps because of that?) I have been itching to make things and talk about making things.

I bought the most beautiful boots: brown leather, almost knee-high. This made me realise that a) I only have black skirts and b) my winter skirts are all very long. After a brief look for non-black, knee-length skirts I quickly realised it would be quicker and cheaper to make my own, so I've bought some nice brown material with tiny stripey checks (I know, very confusing, photo forthcoming). I'm thinking of making it along the lines of Angry Chicken's 5-Minute Skirt: cut on the bias (so the check forms diamonds instead of squares, and also so I can check out the magical qualities of bias-cut clothes for myself), but with a casing and elastic instead of fold-over elastic (I think the fabric might be too heavy for that). I have heard that hemming a bias-cut garment is a pain in the ass but I think it's worth it.

Here is my only concern: the fabric has a little bit of stretch, but only in one direction (across, not top-to-bottom). Is that going to ruin the bias cut? I would very much appreciate feedback from more advanced sewists!

(Image: Neighborhood House Sewing Club, St. Paul)

pea soup

2009-09-08T12:21:00.000+08:00

On Saturday night I made pea soup from Orangette, adapted from Nigella Lawson. It's made with green peas, not split peas, and it tastes like a bowl full of spring.

I just had to take a picture of that beautiful colour. The recipe is incredibly simple, just frozen peas, garlic, stock and spring onions (the recipe confused me by calling them scallions, which is a much more sophisticated name). The only bit that was difficult was buying Parmesan rind to simmer in the soup; I had to buy a hunk of Parmesan to get it. On the up side, I now have a hunk of Parmesan. I bet Nigella just bats her eyelids at her cheesemonger and gets all the rind she wants.

sunday morning

2009-09-06T14:03:00.000+08:00

On Thursday night, doing our week's shopping, we bought a new kind of fruit toast for the weekend's breakfasts. Unfortunately, when we tried it on Saturday, I wasn't impressed. It was very sweet, with lots of dates and raisins, and it had a dense, chewy texture I wasn't crazy about. So on Sunday morning, I decided to make French toast with it.

This is one of those foods that you wonder why you don't make more often. It's so fast, takes so little effort, and produces such a spectacular result. Okay, it's not the healthiest breakfast, but you can tweak it to reduce the damage. I dip the bread in a mixture that is more low-fat milk than egg (about 1.5 parts to 1 part), and it works beautifully. This morning I planned to caramelise some bananas (first step: learn how to caramelise bananas) to put on top but I didn't have time, so I decided to leave it till next time. I don't think I'll bother, though, because I tried fresh bananas on top and it was absolutely perfect. The combination of fruit toast, cinnamon, banana and maple syrup was incredible.

food

2009-09-05T09:43:00.000+08:00

My current obsession is food. I'm still making other things; I'm working on a cross-stitch that is taking forever (the hug design by Emily Peacock) and I've started a new drawing project, A Month of Girls. But all I really want to talk about is food.

I think it started with a BBC series, 'The Supersizers'. Each episode Giles and Sue live for a week in a different period of British history, focusing on the food that was eaten in that period. It's funny and clever and surprising and addictive. We watched all the episodes in quick succession, and I found myself thinking of food quite a lot.

Then I read Michael Pollan's book In Defense of Food. I don't want to sound like a glassy-eyed convert, but that book really did change my life-- or at least, how I think about the things I eat. Since then I've been obsessed. All I want to do is read food books (at the moment I'm reading The Hive by Bee Wilson and I'm excited about What Einstein Told His Cook, which is next), collect recipes and cook new things.

Anyway, I realised last night that since this is a blog about making things, I could quite legitimately bang on about food in here. I don't want to start a food blog because a) this poor thing is so neglected and b) I don't have any really interesting or original insights, I just want to waffle on a bit. I thought it might make it a bit more interesting if I added drawings, and luckily for me, the first thing I want to talk about is eggs. Ha!

One of the odd habits that this obsession has developed in me is that of reading cookbooks like novels, reading recipes which I have no intention of making. This only works, of course, with a really well-written book. Miriam Ungerer's Good Cheap Food was passed down to me by my mother, and although a lot of the recipes are a bit heavier and fattier than modern tastes (the book is from 1971), Ungerer's writing is so funny and acerbic that it's just a pleasure to read. And in fact her wisdom is rubbing off! Last night I made one of our favourite Friday-night dinners, which we call Breakfast for Dinner. It's scrambled eggs, wholemeal toast, pan-fried tomatoes and mushrooms, wilted spinach and roasted red capsicums. It sounds like a lot of work but it's really very quick and easy. We both love big breakfasts but it's quite expensive to eat out, and there's no way I have the presence of mind and energy to make this first thing in the morning. I need to have breakfast before I can cook this breakfast.

The point is, last night I made the best scrambled eggs I have ever made. As well as a little lactose-free milk, I added some fresh parsley from the garden and a tiny bit of Parmesan, which I grated off the block. Then, instead of pushing the eggs around the pan with a big spatula, I used Ungerer's method:

Put a generous amount of butter into the cold skillet (or lightly butter a Teflon pan) and set over medium heat. When the butter is hot and frothing (not browning or smoking), pour the eggs all at once into the centre of the pan. Stir lazily in a circular motion with a fork until the eggs are semi-set but still moist.

I have a horror of uncooked bits of egg white, so I have tended to over-cook my scambled eggs. This makes them rubbery and flavourless. Using a fork, I was able to get a much more even cooking process, and the eggs were tender and flavourful.

All that just for this little tip! Oh well. I find that tips like that are more useful than any one recipe, anyway. Do you have any good egg advice?

screenprinting: Pinns!

2009-07-21T09:45:00.000+08:00

The results of a screenprinting session last weekend. This is Pinn, the elf character from my last comic (which will be featured on Top Shelf 2.0 soon). I spent Sunday afternoon eating cake, drinking tea, gossiping and sewing these up into softies. It's definitely the nicest way to work.

Christmas mantlepiece

2008-12-23T10:30:00.000+09:00

We have had the same stuff up on our mantlepiece, more or less, since we moved into our house eighteen months ago. Since we don't have room for a tree, I decided to decorate it for Christmas. I had so much fun I think I will try to do this regularly, and post photos.

The bunting was really fun and easy to make. I was inspired by Heart Handmade's Wee Bunting, and I enjoyed it so much I made extra for my office! Using felt to back the pieces is a good idea, because it gives the bunting enough weight and stiffness to hang properly. I didn't worry about getting the pieces the same size or even nice neat triangles, and I think it looks much better that way.

made on the left

2008-11-12T12:15:00.000+09:00

(Apologies for cross-posting)

I will be selling my wares (including some new comics, a new line a jewellery and tote bags!) at the Made on the Left Craft Fair this weekend. Luckily I'm taking the rest of the week off to work on some stock!

Monster!

2008-11-11T11:41:00.000+09:00

Making a monster to sit in the window of Keith & Lottie during our exhibition. He is huge and cuddly!

birdie!

2008-10-31T15:12:00.000+09:00

The last couple of weeks have been absolutely manic for me. Pretty much every day I have been coming home, eating dinner, and working on comics and craft stuff till it's time for bed. Maybe that's why I had a brainfail and forgot to take a picture of the plush birdie I made! Luckily Ali J took this lovely photo of it.

It's part of a window display for the annual Windows on William project here in Perth. (If you live in Perth, the shop if Fi & Co!) This year the Made on the Left collective made up a window, and I contributed the bird and two pieces of painted jewellery (a brooch and a ring). The bird was such a pain to make! I hate sewing a curved bit to a straight bit. Oh, you know what I mean! Anyway I think it turned out pretty okay. I love that mushroom fabric so much! The orange fabric is corduroy, another favourite. The theme was 'Spring' and I think it fits nicely. You can also see a couple of my comics on the side there!

You can see more photos at http://madeontheleft.blogspot.com/ .

painted doll

2008-10-30T14:08:00.000+09:00

I painted this little doll for my mother's birthday. I bought the wooden body from a wonderful Etsy seller, Goosegrease. (She also paints her own lovely dolls, they're worth checking out!) It was a fun little project, but painting on a curved surface is a very different challenge to painting on canvas! I'd like to more of these, perhaps a few for my exhibition?

mailing list!

2008-09-18T10:28:00.001+08:00

I have a mailing list! If you're interested in being notified when I add items to my shop, or when items go on sale, you can subscribe. I promise I won't send them too often, and you can opt out at any time!

i <3 stationery

2008-09-05T15:06:00.000+08:00

If there is one thing I love, it's writing notes, lists and letters. I always pick up adorable Japanese stationery whenever I see it cheap, but one of my favourite sources is Annette Lauder's range at Nut and Bee.

Her work is so sweet and simple, it makes me feel warm inside! She's a New Zealander but ships worldwide. The notebooks are particularly good value at only $4! How can you resist? She also has all sorts of other charming products like stamps, badges, labels and recipe cards:

I have been meaning to post about Nut and Bee for a while now, and then today Annette announced a redesign of her shop and a special 10% discount off any orders placed up until September 10th! To claim your discount just enter the code KITTENPAWS at checkout. Yay stationery!

my dream room

2008-09-02T12:55:00.000+08:00

I have recently discovered my new favourite illustrator, S. Britt. I came across him when Drawn featured his Flickr set detailing the transformation of his work room into the best room I have ever seen. Seriously, if there is a heaven, it will look like this for me. And I will sit at the desk and be able to draw like S. Britt.

badges!!!

2008-08-26T11:55:00.000+08:00

My 1-inch badges arrived! I've made them into sets and put them in my etsy shop. Some of them are also available as single badges.

I'm so happy with the way these turned out, they look so cute and the colours are really vibrant. I sliced up big sheets of card using the guillotine at work (shh!) and stamped the pieces with my old school letter stamp set and my home-made bird stamp. I think they look pretty good!