happier

It's amazing how quickly you move on and forget what things were like before. Reading my last post brought back the despair and worry and made me realise how much happier we are. When I posted a link to my blog on Facebook, a friend suggested that Peanut might have silent reflux. When we read the symptoms, they really stood out as some of his weird behaviour: the fact that he never really threw up, his little cough, the way his breathing sometimes sounded rattley, and most of all the way he cried and arched away when I tried to nurse him. After being told it was "just colic" and perfectly normal by several health professionals, we presented the doctor with our suspicions and got a prescription. About a week later, we had a much happier baby. He started rapidly putting on weight (he had slowed down because of his dislike of nursing) and his poop stopped being green (from his nursing behaviour - he was only getting the foremilk and not enough of the hind milk). Best of all, we stopped having the days where he would just scream inconsolably for hours.

Having a baby, and in particular being the primary carer, is incredibly hard. I love Peanut so, so much and I can't imagine life without him, but I know that as time passes I'll remember this period fondly and forget the terrible stuff. Being alone in the house with a baby who can't stop screaming or let you know what's wrong is a dark experience.

But he's four and a half months old and he smiles at me when he wakes up and sees my face and he rolls over and looks confused about how it happened and he reaches out to touch the things that interest him and it's all so mundane and it's the most amazing and exciting thing.