good reasons to have a baby

1. You're wondering how dirty your floors really are. I mean, they're pretty clean, right? (No)

2. Your social life is too taxing and you can't think of a good excuse to not attend anything ever again.

3. You want to see if these antidepressants are really working.

4. You want someone to appreciate your singing voice.

5. Your stomach is too flat.

6. You think burps and farts are really funny.

7. You always order too much food and need someone to help you eat it, or at least throw it on the floor.

8. You're researching the impact of sleep deprivation on basic motor skills.

9. You fucking love doing laundry.

10. You may need to harvest healthy, compatible organs in the future.